From My Heart

From My Heart

Monday, January 16, 2012

One of THOSE days!!!

Does anyone, besides me, ever have one of those days where you just do not like being a mom??? Please, someone agree with me!!! Sunday was one of those days for me!! My three kids could not get along at all, it was constant arguing, tattling and crying from each of them! On top of that the house was a disaster and I was beyond exhausted!!

Grace's 9th birthday was the day before so we had a skating party for her. I am still amazed that we have a 9 year old!! I can still remember how excited we were to be having a baby...

Cody and I got married when we were 18 and 20 years old (I am younger than him, just to clarify!). We had been married for almost a year when we babysat for one of Cody's cousins and decided that was fun and we wanted a baby of our own. I look back now and wonder what we were thinking and I thank God that His timing is perfect! I did not get pregnant until I was 22 and I turned 23 a month before Grace was born. There were times we were so discouraged that I hadn't gotten pregnant yet. I prayed and questioned God daily. All I wanted was a baby and I just could not understand why I was not worthy enough to be a mom. We decided to buy a bigger house in hopes that we would have a new baby to bring home to it soon. Well we were right and God is faithful! One month after closing on the house I had a positive pregnancy test! Can you say EXCITED!!! I still think back and giggle because God had it all planned out from the beginning and I didn't even realize it!!

Now fast forward nine years and add two more kids to the mix. Our house is loud and chaotic and unorganized and it seems to have shrunk a lot!!! There is not a day that goes by that I do not thank God for our three blessings but there are also some days, very seldom, that I wonder why did I want this job again!? Grace is 9 going on 16 and I am already dreading the teenage years!! Justice is 5, all boy and very level headed!! Hartly is 2 and well she is just Hartly!!

My life is very busy and it is very easy for my focus to veer away from God. Everyday I am guilty of letting the "needs to be done" become a weight on my shoulders. Sunday it was more like a bizillion pounds caving in on top of me!! On days like that it is so hard for me to hear God's voice beckoning me back to Him. Thankfully I had a women's Bible Study to go to and it helped put things back into perspective. I realized that on days like that is when it is most vital to look for joy. Most days joy is all around and I don't have to look for it but there are days when it is not as visable to me. It's kind of like the sun on a very cloudy day; the sun is still in the sky we just cannot see it because the clouds are covering it up. I realize that when I have to search for my joy is when I am changed. In other words when I face struggles, really face them and not try to hide from them, that is when I grow into who God has designed me to be. God never promised that if we walk with Him our journey will be easy but He did promise that if we walk with Him, He will guide us through the deep waters. To me that means there will always be joy in every situation but it's up to me to discover it and to accept it!!!

I adore my family and my life. It is not ever perfect, we have our fair share of mountains to climb, as you all do, but I know that my God is a lot bigger than any mountain!!! :)

Dear bothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. James 1:2-3 NLT

May your days be filled with joy, even if you have to search for it, God bless,
Denissa
Waking up to birthday cake!!!

Good...

cRaZy!!!

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