From My Heart

From My Heart

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Audience of 1

Everyone is busy! Everyone has someone or something pulling them one way or the other! We cannot do everything or be everywhere!

This is a hard concept for many of us to understand, myself included. I want to do everything and be everywhere but it is absolutely not possible to do! In my perfect world I am always on time, I never have to say no, my house is always spotless and my laundry is always washed, folded, put up and never piled up!!! My world is not perfect, in fact it is FAR from it!! I have a tendency to let the things on my to-do list get the best of me, I start to feel guilty because my laundry isn't done or I missed someones birthday or, or, or...
I get caught up in all the busyness and I forget about God! He is the one person or thing that isn't pulling me in all different directions, yes He is there watching, protecting and guiding but He is also waiting, waiting on me to recognize His presence in all of the busyness, and ironically He is the only one that matters in all of it!!! He is the one that even when I forget about Him He doesn't leave me or hold a grudge against me. He is the one that really loves me without limitations. He is our audience of 1 and He is the only one we need to make happy!!!

In this play, that we call life, God is the director and we are His actors, we are just a spit in the wind when it comes down to it. We have a short time to recognize and obey our creator. I was told by a wise teacher in high school "There are no small parts, just small actors". Isn't that how our lives are on this stage, Earth? God created us with the plan that we would all worship Him and glorify Him in our daily roles, we don't always live up to that part though! I fail miserably, daily!! But God doesn't care, He still helps me up, holds me in the palm of His hand and loving says "It's ok my child, try again!" When I think about God doing that I also think who in my life says that to me. A few characters come to mind but then I think if I hurt them over and over and over on a daily basis, like I do to God, would they continue to love and forgive me? I don't think they would, they may say they do but deep down in the honest places of our souls that hurt lingers and probably will eventually find a pathway back up into our minds, maybe the next time we are hurt by them. God isn't that way though, He deeply loves us and deeply forgives us and there is no pathway to be found after we earnestly seek that love and forgiveness.

So if God can love us and forgive us in such an inconceivable way then why are we not more concerned about performing better for Him and less for the people and things around us when they will NEVER be able to do the unimaginable in our lives the way God can and will?! Why do we care about the audience of many when we only need to worry about the audience of THE ONE?!

I listen to the music on my iTunes a lot, I put it on shuffle and it plays random songs but the past couple of weeks there is one song that has been playing more than the others, in fact many times it is the first song that plays when I start it. It's called Do Everything by Steven Curtis Chapman, I do not think this is a coincidence at all that this songs plays often, I think God is reminding that He is my audience of 1 and He is the only one I need to please. If I please Him above all else the other stuff will fall into place!!!

I want to share the song with you to remind you also!

God bless,
Denissa

Thursday, March 15, 2012

"Never Change"

I ran into an old friend from school this past weekend. We talked briefly and then went on our way. This was someone that I spent lots of time with during my Jr. High and High school years. We cheered together, played basketball together, went to track meets together, passed notes in class and laughed together, a lot, I looked up to her during school and I always thought that she had her life in order. After we talked for a few minutes and then parted ways a thought popped into my head...remember when you would get the new yearbooks in and everyone would pass them around to let everyone sign it, almost everyone ended their wishes with "stay cool" or "never change". This memory got me to thinking...

I started to think back to when I was in school and the kind of person I was and then I started thinking about my friends writing that to each other. Was it something we just wrote because it sounded good or was it that we really thought that person was so great that they really didn't need to change??? I think I wrote it to some people because I thought they really were that great but on the other hand maybe to someone else I just said it to say it.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a very small school where everyone knew everyone, literally, and my kids now go to that same school with many of the same teachers that were there when I was there and some of the kids in their classes have parents that I went to school with. I consider this a huge blessing in many ways but many times it also is hard because I see the people that knew me when I was younger and honestly I was not always a nice kid growing up.  I am guilty of letting the past come back and haunt me along with the shame and guilt and then I want to avoid them and then it comes off to some like I am still not a nice person. I am so thankful that God has taken me and changed me and shaped me into so much more than what I used to be. This is one time I will say CHANGE IS GOOD!!!

I have been wondering this week what if I "stayed cool" or "never changed" as so many put in my yearbook, year after year?! I have caught myself wandering back into my past and coming across those life changing points, some good and others not so good, some hard times and some even harder and some really great, really happy moments, they all play a part in who I have become. There have been stumbling blocks in my life and during those moments I questioned God as to why I have to be the one to go through this but when I look back now I see those stumbling blocks as more of changing blocks and yes I still think it was hard to get past it but since I made it to the other side and I can step back and see the whole map, I see that it was so that I could be one step closer to God 's finished product. I have to say if I was still the person I was in school, if I had not been through what I've been through then I do not believe I would have the relationship with God that I cherish today. I have learned because of change that I need God more and more each second of every day.

I am thankful for each person I have ever had in my life, good and bad, they have all played a role in my life story and also because they remind me of who I was, who I am and how far I have come. Even though some people still might not like me because of things I did or said when I was young and dumb that's ok, God loved me then and He loves me now, I am forgiven. He is still changing me and molding me into something beautiful and thankfully that will continue until the day that I will kneel at His feet as He sits on His throne in heaven!!

God bless,
Denissa

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Stepping Into Change

For the past seven weeks I have been doing Beth Moore's Bible Study about the book of James. I have done several Bible studies in the past and each of them opened my eyes to something new but this time not only were my eyes opened wide but my whole world was shaken and laid broken around me. I feel as if I have been made new again!! I do not like to sugar coat things when I am talking to others and I also do not like things sugar coated when they are spoken to me. Well James was not one to sugar coat by any means (my kind of guy) and often times I found myself looking down at my toes to make sure they were still there!! I even wondered at one point in the lessons if God had told Beth about me!? I'm telling y'all this Bible study, for me, was life changing!!!

A few things that really spoke to me were CHALLENGE = CHANGE, Satan wants my faith and Keep looking for 1 small rain cloud because the rains will come!!!

I am challenged every morning when my feet hit the floor. My challenges may not be as big as your challenges but we all have them and we can either give up or face them head on. It may seem easier to give up at some moment in time but really in the end it probably makes life harder. I love a good challenge and I LOVE to win!!! But change is not as easy for me to accept sometimes. God requires us to change so that we can become what He designed us to be. I want to be what God wants me to be, even it that does mean change on my part!!!

"Satan wants my faith." Think about this for a minute, maybe even say it again out loud. This is powerful and true!! Just to think that Satan wants any part of me makes me realize that he wants it for a reason. If it wasn't going to injure his pride in someway or exalt God in some way then Satan would not give it a second thought but if he wants it, it must be something worth having, something GRAND, something that I need to hold on to!! I pray that I remember this next time I am going through a challenge so that I do not just throw the towel in and you do the same!!

"Keep looking for 1 small rain cloud because the rains will come!" This applies to our land and our life. Do not give up, keep on keeping on because I know that I know that I know that God will send the rain, whether it be healing rain on your heart, soul and spirit or thirsting rain on our parched land. God is a faithful God and He loves us and wants what is the ultimate best for our lives. He never forgets about you and He will never stop loving you! It makes my ears burn and my heart ache when I hear people say "God is punishing me", REALLY because you must not serve the same God I serve!! My God is a loving, gentle God and yes we will have hardships and droughts but it is not because God is angry with you! It is because God wants us to want Him, He wants a real relationship with each of us and He wants to build us up and make us strong so that we can speak of His goodness to others. He wants to see good changes in all of us. There have been areas of my life recently where I am between the rains but I am holding on to God's mighty promise that He will send us an amazing rain, in fact, I think I can see some rain clouds rolling in!

There were many more things that Beth Moore said during the past seven weeks that chipped away at my outer shell and caused some cracks, actually the first session of the study caused a lot of cracks and each week it continued until huge chunks were plummeting to the ground around me! Remember in one of my past blogs my word for this year...CHANGE...well after the past seven weeks I can say that I have taken some major steps in that direction.

And just in case Beth Moore ever does stumble across this blog post... Thank you my dear, sweet friend for your obedience to God in writing exactly what I needed to hear during this season of my life. You truly are a God-send and you will forever hold a special place in my heart!!

God bless,
Denissa