From My Heart

From My Heart

Thursday, December 31, 2015

PLANS

I know the plans that I have for you, declares Yahweh. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (Names of God Bible)

Yahweh (YHWH): Comes from a verb which means “to exist, be.” This, plus its usage, shows that this name stresses God as the independent and self-existent God of revelation and redemption (from Bible.org)


As I sit in the still and quiet of this house my eyes drift to the chaos of life around me, my mind wants to drift to the days past of 2015 but my heart only wants to focus on the days to come. In years past I would anticipate the new year with great expectations but I have since learned that life happens and life is hard. Life can be fabulous but it can also be dreary. Life events do not respect the newness of a new year, they happen none the less, good or bad, regardless of what the calendar reads. 

One of my new year traditions, as many of you know but some do not, is to ask God for a word and verse for the coming year. For 2015 it was Faith, Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm. Isaiah 7:9b (NLT). I learned that my faith is weak and at some points during 2015 it was nonexistent. God never left me but at times I left Him. It was a very trying year for myself, my marriage, my family. I do not want to go back to those times. What happened happened...it is done...it cannot be redone or undone...it is done. 

I tend to have big ideas that never pan-out in life, as they do in my mind. I make plans that fall through. I calculate every word, motion, breath, God calculates differently than me. I have found my mind many times going over these calculated plans as my eyes adjust to see the unplanned movements happening in front of me. I catch myself, in these moments of uncertainty, asking God "Where are YOU?!" I hear Him answer back "I Am with you. My plans are not your plans." I find myself asking back in anger, "What are YOUR plans?!" My mind whirling, anger surrounding me, I hear..."MY PLANS are not to harm you, they are plans for good and plans for hope. My plans are for hardships that equal growth. My plans are for you." 

Within the last few weeks many times I have been asked "What do you plan to do?" by loved ones around me. I have come to realize I do not know. The plans I had were my plans, not God's plans. The plans I had did not work. I no longer have any plans. 

Today I will walk the path that God as placed before me, one step at a time, one day at a time, some moments one second at a time.  I no longer have plans, it is time for Yahweh's PLANS. PLANS of redemption and revelation.  


I know the plans that I have for you, declares Yahweh. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (Names of God Bible)

God Bless,
Denissa

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Joy

Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10b NLT

The Lord is my joy.

Not my husband. Not my children. Not myself. Not my job. Not my paycheck or my husband's. Not anything or anyone on this earth.

My joy comes from my God.

This was a hard realization that I had to come to within the past few weeks. I unknowingly put my joy into everything except the Lord. I would get so upset when my husband or kids made a mistake. I would get angry when life did not go my way. I was headed in a downward spiral fast because of the fact that I was counting on people and things to provide my joy. That is impossible! Only God can provide my joy (If I choose to let him)!

I remember the moment I can to this realization.

My husband had done something (again). He was not filling my joy cup the way I thought he should, he was draining it and at this point it was bone dry. I was mad. He was mad. The kids were not happy. Even the dog kept her distance.  In my mind I thought why can he not just make me happy? That is when I heard that voice that tends to whisper truth at the most perfect moment, it is called the Holy Spirit. The voice said "I am your joy, not the husband." Ugh really!? Again the voice, "The Lord is your joy." Then Nehemiah 8:10 pops in my head. It took me a few days to think this through. I spent days with my mind in rewind going over many situations where my joy was not coming from the Lord. I began to realize it was not my husbands fault that I was not joyful. It was mine. Just because I was choosing to depend on my husband to provide me with joy did not mean it was his fault for failing! My husband is human, he is going to fail me every day just as I will and do fail him daily. We are human, that is what humans do...WE FAIL!! 

After the few days it took for me to come to this realization I had to stop and ask God to forgive me for being so self consumed. From that moment when aggravating situations arise and I start to let them get the best of me I hear that still small voice telling me "where is your joy." Many times I have actually said out loud my joy comes from the Lord not from this person or this situation. (Some times I need to say it more than once or twice!) 

I am a work in progress. But isn't that what matters most?...That we are making progress?! We all need to be a work in progress because if we are not working on progress we are staying the same and that gets us nowhere. 

Some days I long for the day I "arrive" but I know that will not happen until I am bowing at the perfect feet of my beloved Savior. Until that time comes I will be satisfied with being a work in progress. And I will know where my joy comes from...

My joy and my strength come from the Lord!

God Bless,
Denissa

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

FAITH

My word for this year is FAITH.
Unless your FAITH is firm, I cannot make you stand firm. Isaiah 7:9b NLT


My word for 2014 was TRUST.


The definition of FAITH is complete trust or confidence in someone or something.


So FAITH is the same as trust...


I admit, I was offended!


I always pray and ask God to give me a word that I can cling to for the entire coming year, a word that is going to define me and grow my relationship with my King. Why would God give me practically the same word two years in a row!? Did I not trust you enough last year God?!


As 2015 started Satan wasted no time in carrying over his non-sense attacks from last year on our family. As I began to meditate on Isaiah 7:9, I began to look at my FAITH. What exactly does God mean when He says he cannot make me stand firm unless my FAITH is firm? I read my Bible everyday, I pray every day. How is my FAITH not firm?!


Recently our family was hit hard, possibly the hardest we have ever been hit so far. My FAITH was shaken to the very core, and I began to analyze every day of my life for the past eighteen years. I felt as if every thing I had was being ripped from me and I had no control over any of it. I questioned God's will for my life. Why would God keep me in a place of hurt and despair? God began speaking to my heart that He was not keeping me in this dark place, I was choosing to focus on the negative. Many times through this situation I read Isaiah 7:9, the more I read it the more I realized my FAITH was not firm and therefore I was not standing firm. I began to see that my FAITH goes beyond trust, it is more than believing God is going to work things out for our good. FAITH is an act of strength, it is an action that I have to use every day.


A few months ago my SIL/best friend was telling me how God used the story of Peter walking on water to show her some things in her life. That story came back to me a few weeks ago. I felt how I would imagine Peter felt when he began sinking. I said to God, "I do not know when I took my eyes off of you and I began to sink." I felt God speaking to me saying just because your FAITH is firm does not mean you won't go under water but when you are under water is your FAITH still firm? He told me if my FAITH was still firm then I needed to start acting like it, pick myself up and stand firm, even when the ground beneath me was shaking. Just because God called me to go through some rough waters (or perhaps a hurricane) does not mean that I have a right to give up. He began to show me that when my FAITH is firm He will get me through anything.


FAITH is more than trust...


FAITH is my defense against the enemy! FAITH is something I have, and the devil does not have, and cannot have!  FAITH is favor with God!


Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving FAITH, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one]. Ephesians 6:16 AMP


Unless your FAITH is firm, I cannot make you stand firm. Isaiah 7:9b NLT


God bless,
Denissa