From My Heart

From My Heart

Monday, December 30, 2013

TRUST...2014

TRUST (trst) n.
1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
2. Custody; care.
3. Something committed into the care of another; charge.
4. a. The condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one.
b. One in which confidence is placed.
5. Reliance on something in the future; hope.
TRUST v.
1. To have or place reliance; depend: Trust in the Lord. Trust to destiny.
2. To be confident; hope.
(definitions from www.thefreedictionary.com)
 Synonyms for TRUST: confidence, faith
 
According to www.answers.yahoo.com the KJV Bible says the word TRUST 181 times.
 
It was just a few days into the month of December that the thought of a new word or verse for the upcoming new year began to creep into my mind. There have been so many times this year that I have clung to Psalm 105:4, Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him., that I was not ready to replace it with something new, the year still had several weeks left and I wanted to used every last day with my verse to the fullest; so immediately I pushed the thought out of my mind. This continued for a few days until I finally put my foot down with God and told Him I was not ready for a new word or verse so He just needed to hold off!!
 
On December 16, 2013 I was doing some CHRISTmas shopping, when a checkbook cover caught my eye. I had been looking for a new checkbook cover for some time now. As I picked it up I noticed it had a small silver plate on the front with a word engraved on it, my first thought is it says hope or faith just like most things. It said TRUST. I was so surprised that I almost dropped it! A feeling I cannot describe came over me and I knew instantly TRUST was my word for 2014, then Proverbs 3:5-6, TRUST in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths, pops into my mind, but my stubborn self once again said God I am not ready for a new word. (I bought the checkbook cover by the way!) :) The very next day my sister-in-law and I were walking through the mall. We turned a corner and I am staring straight at a sign that says TRUST in the Lord...Really God, did you not hear me!? From that point on it seemed like every where I turned, every song I heard, every verse I read, everything was about TRUST. So I gave in and I accepted my new word and verse for the coming year!
 
I just could not understand why God was giving me this word. There have been so many times that God has called me to step out of my comfort zone and I do (after lots of debating) but I always end up doing it! Why this word?! Honestly I was a little offended to think God thought I do not TRUST Him! As I thought about the word God began to reveal areas of my life that are lacking in TRUST, places where my faith is weak, places that I tend to keep hidden and buried, things that I do not like to deal with. All of these began to surface over the next few days and I realized I wanted to control and fix and bandage and hide and I could not do it. Things that I thought were okay, were not; things that I thought I had dealt with I had not; places I thought I trusted God I did not. I felt as if my world was spinning out of control and the only way to stop it was to grab onto this offensive little word and hold on with all my might!! So that is exactly what I did. I began to repeat Proverbs 3:5-6 over and over. I made a choice to say I TRUST you God with our bank account; I TRUST you with my husband; I TRUST you with my kids; I TRUST you with the election; I TRUST you with my hearts desires; I TRUST you when every thing within me is coming unraveled by fear, hurt and uncertainty; I TRUST you with every part of me, my life, my family, my future. I TRUST YOU.
 
Each time I choose to say I TRUST you God, the pounding in my heart is lessened, the turning in my stomach subsides, the worries in my head become less. Every time I open my word and spend time in God's presence my TRUST grows and every thing else shrinks. I am so guilty of missing what today holds because I am already planning tomorrow or next week or next year, but I have started to notice that maybe I do this because I do not TRUST God enough to just enjoy this moment. Every year when I get my "word of the year" I tend to think oh no what does this mean I am going to have to deal with this time, what hardships am I going to face that I need this word. These thoughts immediately began to resonate in my mind again this time. I let them fester for a few days, but as I sit here pouring my non-trusting self out to all of you I realize I do not need to look to the year in advance instead I need to TRUST God with what today holds until tomorrow arrives.
 
I do not know what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow... so I will TRUST God with today.
 
Happy New Year!!
 
God Bless,
Denissa  
 
 

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