From My Heart...

 2022...I have spent the last month thinking about what this year has meant to me, how it has changed me, what I have learned, the ways that I have grown and what God has done. When I started this year with the phrase "Turning the Soil" I did not know what to expect but I knew I was expectant. I was ready for God to do something in me that He had never done before.  Last year when I felt God giving me this phrase to define the coming new year I looked up (googled) "turning the soil" and this a few of the things that struck me: turning over and breaking up the soil; disturbing the roots of the weeds; best to till when the soil is dry; helps cushion the force of pounding raindrops; allows oxygen and vital nutrients to reach the roots.  Let me tell you, when God says it He delivers! My ground (my heart) was dry, it was hard and it was thirsting for something different.  This past year I have spent time with God in prayer and diving into His word. I have prayed for my k...

 Last Sunday, December 26, 2021, the last Sunday of the year, I was sitting in church, not our usual church campus, listening to the Pastor begin his sermon. He started talking about being on the verge of a new year. My mind wandered and I thought, God you haven't given me a word yet. Then I heard Him, "Turning - the soil." I thought what?! Again I heard it, "Turning - the soil, write it down." Of course me being me I thought that can't be God but I wrote it down (just in case). Side note: My rule concerning my "word of the year" is if it really is God speaking that word over me it will show up in the things I read or in my daily activities, it will come to mind repeatedly.   I will admit I was a little thrown off by this phrase. I have been asking God to give me a word that will define 2022, one that will grow me, comfort me in times of hardship, something I can offer to others when they need encouragement from a friend. I wanted a strong word, so...

In 2017 God's constant whisper to my heart was "Be Still" along with the verse Psalms 46:10.  It was not in the physical sense of the phrase, it was in the mental sense. My mind has a tendency to constantly wander. Very seldom are my thoughts ever still. As 2016 closed and 2017 began my heart was not still, nor where my thoughts. As I googled Be Still I learned that it comes from the Hebrew word raphah meaning to mend (by stitching), i.e. (figuratively) to cure:--cure, (cause to) heal, physician, repair, X thoroughly, make whole . Be Still also refers to that which is slack, to let drop or to be disheartened or weak. Some of those words are seldom in my vocabulary (especially weak)! At the beginning of this year I was in dire need of mending and healing; spiritually, mentally & even physically, but I did not want to be weak in order for that to happen. I have learned that when I am able to be weak it is then that He is able to be strong. When I could no...

As I sit here listening to the sound of my kids playing with their presents from the first CHRISTmas in our house my mind wanders to moments from the past year. It has been almost a year since we signed papers on our home. So much has happened in this year, not all good but not all bad. We have had so many good, godly people standing around us through those good and bad times. Sometimes the ones that you think will be there holding your arms up are the first ones out the door when your strength is gone. In that moment is when you find the unexpected ones that grab hold of you with all their might, don't ask questions, just pray, love and speak what God lays on their heart for you. So many days I heard God whisper to my heart, asking if I was going to follow His plans or my own. So many hard decisions that were made. Decisions that did not always go the way I planned. So many moments when I did not want to follow God's plans. Those were the moments God placed people in my pa...

I once was lost but now am found,  Was blind, but now I see. (Amazing Grace by John Newton) I was lost... lost in the hurt...lost in the frustration...lost in the fury...lost in my will. Day after day I wandered in a black forest, seeing nothing, just trying to feel my way through the darkness. Not all who wander are lost but I was lost. I was alone. I was afraid. I was angry. When I looked around all I could see were the broken dreams, broken promises, broken me. I needed help but I could not find it or maybe I did not want it. Maybe I could fix it on my own. How did I get here?!  What did I do wrong? When did I loose myself in this hate? Where do I go from here? I did not have any of the right answers.  I hear a voice, it is calling me. Someone is there but I cannot see them. I do not want to. I want to stay in the forest. I like the black forest. It is my protection from feeling the hurt again. Lies. Lies. Lies.  All o...

I know the plans that I have for you, declares  Yahweh . They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (Names of God Bible) Yahweh (YHWH):  Comes from a verb which means “to exist, be.” This, plus its usage, shows that this name stresses God as the independent and self-existent God of revelation and redemption (from Bible.org) As I sit in the still and quiet of this house my eyes drift to the  chaos of life around me, my mind wants to drift to the days past of 2015 but my heart only wants to focus on the days to come. In years past I would anticipate the new year with great expectations but I have since learned that life happens and life is hard. Life can be fabulous but it can also be dreary. Life events do not respect the newness of a new year, they happen none the less, good or bad, regardless of what the calendar reads.  One of my new year traditions, as many of you know but some do not, is to a...

Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the  Lord  is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10b NLT The Lord is my joy. Not my husband. Not my children. Not myself. Not my job. Not my paycheck or my husband's. Not anything or anyone on this earth. My joy comes from my God. This was a hard realization that I had to come to within the past few weeks. I unknowingly put my joy into everything except the Lord. I would get so upset when my husband or kids made a mistake. I would get angry when life did not go my way. I was headed in a downward spiral fast  because of the fact that I was counting on people and things to provide my joy. That is impossible! Only God can provide my joy (If I choose to let him)! I remember the moment I can to this realization. My husband had done something (again). He was not filling my joy cup the way I thought he should, he was draining it and at this point it was bone dry. I was mad. He was mad. The kids were not happy. Even the dog kept her d...

My word for this year is FAITH. Unless your FAITH is firm, I cannot make you stand firm. Isaiah 7:9b NLT My word for 2014 was TRUST. The definition of FAITH is complete trust or confidence in someone or something. So FAITH is the same as trust... I admit, I was offended! I always pray and ask God to give me a word that I can cling to for the entire coming year, a word that is going to define me and grow my relationship with my King. Why would God give me practically the same word two years in a row!? Did I not trust you enough last year God?! As 2015 started Satan wasted no time in carrying over his non-sense attacks from last year on our family. As I began to meditate on Isaiah 7:9, I began to look at my FAITH. What exactly does God mean when He says he cannot make me stand firm unless my FAITH is firm? I read my Bible everyday, I pray every day. How is my FAITH not firm?! Recently our family was hit hard, possibly the hardest we have ever been hit so far. My FAITH ...

This year we have been shaken. We have been shaken by the hand of God, at times to our core. As I reflect back over 2014 I am reminded that we needed to be shaken, we needed to be removed from our cozy box, even our children, so that our TRUST in our Maker could grow. I knew last December when God gave me the word TRUST that 2014 would not be an easy year, but never in my wildest, biggest imagination could I ever have dreamed that it would be what it was. Before CHRISTmas break 2013 my son's first grade teacher mentioned that he was having a hard time reading. Soon after the first of the year, 2014, she told me she talked to the Dyslexia teacher and they thought he needed to be tested. Also after the break I went to work as a full time sub in the Pre-K class as the aide for the remainder of the semester. I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years, and although this does not seem that major, it hit me deep! I really do not know how all of you working moms do it!! Things got bus...

TRUST (tr st) n. 1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. 2. Custody; care. 3. Something committed into the care of another; charge. 4. a. The condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one. b. One in which confidence is placed. 5. Reliance on something in the future; hope. TRUST v. 1. To have or place reliance; depend: Trust in the Lord. Trust to destiny. 2. To be confident; hope. (definitions from www.thefreedictionary.com )  Synonyms for TRUST: confidence, faith   According to www.answers.yahoo.com the KJV Bible says the word TRUST 181 times.   It was just a few days into the month of December that the thought of a new word or verse for the upcoming new year began to creep into my mind. There have been so many times this year that I have clung to Psalm 105:4, Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him., that I was not ready to...

June 27, 2013 Daily Scripture (exactly as it was sent): Until God opens the next door...praise him in the hallway! 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ... Give THANKS in all circumstances; for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus. This morning we went to Pastor Kapapa's house to do some plumbing work. The guys got his family a toilet plumbed inside their house! :) We then went back to Simukale Village to feed and play with the kids. I would've taken every kid out there a pb&j sandwich but I was told it just wasn't possible! We did take extra and give to the cooks though. They said they were nice (so they liked them)! They love trying American food. Grace took some candy (sweets is what they call it) to give to the kids- she got mobbed and Miss Gaylene had to save her. Pastor Kapapa's kids came with us today. I think Grace liked having them there because they speak English and Tonga. One girl, named Veronica, followed Grace every where, she is 13 and speaks good English...

June 26, 2013 Daily Scripture text (exactly as it was sent): But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Amen!!!! Isaiah 40:31 NLT Have a blessed day! When we got to Monze we checked into our motel-Southern Comfort- not like any motel I've ever seen- had one room huts with grass roofs- yes they were quite cute! (The British say quite a lot so I think I might have picked up on it!-Giggle :)-) OK...Then we headed straight to the village of Simikale. We visited a school there and worked with Luyando Kids Club. They cook a meal and feed some of the kids. Before the bus even stopped the kids were crowding the bus! They are fascinated by Americans!! We immediately started helping wash dishes and pump water. We were able to play games with the kids and love on them. Every single one is so precious!! We met kids as young as 4 years up to 13 years, and a few little babie...

June 24-25, 2013 Daily Scripture (June 24) (typed exactly as it was sent): HAPPY MONDAY :)! The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever. Isaiah 32:17 Have a blessed day! Daily Scripture (June 25) (typed exactly as it was sent): Sometimes bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. GOD is good.... Have a wonderful Tuesday! Love you We arrived at the airport early today- did not want to miss our flight (giggle)! When we went to get our tickets we found out the airline canceled our flight! NOT JOKING!!! At this point we were saying OK GOD?! There was another flight leaving an hour after when ours was supposed to leave and they just happen to have enough seats for the 12 of us! YEA GOD!! We flew eleven hours to Johannesburg, ran through customs and the airport there so we would not miss our next flight since we left late! Then another 2 1/2 hours to Lusaka, then we stayed the n...

June 23, 2013 (No daily scripture on the weekends) We had another day of touring. Today Gaylene, Rusty, Cade, Cody, Grace and I went to Windsor. We toured the Windsor Castle. It was quite fabulous! I enjoyed this part of London more than the other. It was more laid back- not as much hustle and bustle. They have cobblestone streets and pubs every where. It was a little romantic! Maybe someday Cody and I will come back and visit a nice little bed and breakfast. We leave tomorrow for Johannesburg then on to Zambia. I absolutely CANNOT WAIT to get my hands on those precious babies!! I am a little sad that our days in the village have been cut short but I do know that it is all in God's hands and is not without cause! Oh yes- we also found out Pastor Kappapa forgot to reserve our bus tickets to get us from Lusaka to Monze, so if we had left London when we planned then we would not have had a ride...hmmm another God thing!?

June 22, 2013 (No daily scripture on the weekend) Today was a good day! The weather here is amazing! It is cool and misty most of the day, the wind blows and it can get pretty chilly. We went into London again and walked through town. Grace rode the London Eye with Jeanne, Katrina, Kailey and David. We did not have as many people ask about our shirts today but we all noticed people reading them. I pray that each one goes home and googles I am Second. It was a very nice and relaxing day thankfully! We were able to call home and check on the other two kids tonight. They sounded good! I have missed their sweet voices and Hartly's precious giggle. We are so blessed that we have family to help us. I am ready for a good nights rest and to see what tomorrow will hold. Praise God for another blessed day! I am clinging to Jesus!

June 21, 2013 Daily Scripture (typed exactly like it was sent): Philippians 4:6 says don't worry about anything, instead PRAY about everything. Tell God what you need: and thank him for what he has done. AMEN! So stay the course. Keep believing!! You may be tired, discouraged and frustrated but don't give up... OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL!!! Happy Friday... Have a wonderful weekend! (I am getting glory bumps just typing this and remembering what all we encountered that day! (Grin)) We spent the night in the airport. I laid down in 2 hard plastic chairs and crashed. When I woke up I noticed people around Grace and me (she was asleep with her feet at my head in the next two chairs). I went around to get my glasses on the other side of the chairs from where we were sleeping. I slipped my glasses on, I looked up and the very first thing I saw was a girl dressed in black pants, with a black hoodie, with the hood on her head, with dark eyes, looking at me from under her hood. The stare...

June 20, 2013 Daily Scripture (typed exactly as it was sent!): Good morning!! Scripture for the day...Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let NOTHING move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. Amen! 1 Corinthians 15:58 Second text that day: Annnd...Quote of the day. "Do not ask God to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet." Ouch! That one got me a littel bit... :) It has been a LONG 2 days!! Lots of time on the plane. Lots of motion sickness. We took an open top bus tour around London today. London is fabulous, so much beautiful architecture and amazing history. We all wore our "I am Second" shirts and I am amazed at how many people here have no idea what it means. I pray that a seed has been planted in each heart that has asked "Who is first?" We were late getting back to the airport and missed our flight (security check-in) by mi...

The weekend before we left for Zambia I worked a Women's Walk to Emmaus, one of our walk traditions is that a member of the prayer team sends a text message to each team member telling them the verse of the day and which team member to pray for that day, this happens every day leading up to the walk and after the walk is over the messages stop...usually... Our plane was scheduled to leave at 3:30 on June 19, 2 days after the walk ended, at 8:12 that morning I received a text from the lady sending out the walk texts, this is what it said: GOOD MORNING!!!! I feel lead to continue to send out the morning text :) if you would like to be removed from the list for any reason just please text me and let me know. Scripture of the day...1 Chronicles 16:11...Search for the Lord and all his strength; continually seek him. My first thought was I need to text her to stop the texts since we are going to be gone and we will get charged for them, but I really will miss not getting them. My nex...

"Dirt is dirt and we've all got it no matter where we come from. I'm not sure Christ sees one kind of dirt as dirtier than the other. One thing is for sure: His blood is able to bleach any stain left by any kind of dirt." Beth Moore I saw this quote on my facebook page last week. I read it and then read it again and then I wrote it down. As I continued to reread it the memory of me washing the kids hands in Zambia came to mind. My three kids love to play outside, especially at my parents house out in the country, and they can get all kinds of dirty when they are out there all day. The kids in Zambia are no different, in fact they are probably more dirty than my kids. When it came time to eat in the village the kids would line up to have their hands washed. I was given a bar of soap and one by one I rubbed their precious little, dirty hands with that bar of soap. Then someone else would rinse their hands by pouring a pitcher of water over them. It never mattered how...

"YOUR will God, NOT mine!!" That's easy to say when things are going good and you're in a happy place BUT when things are getting tough or God actually tells us ok then do this... and it's something we don't want to do or are not comfortable doing, it's not so easy then. This was me weeks ago! I was in a happy place and every thing was going smooth and I liked how things were. Then on a Sunday afternoon I received a phone call from a friend and she asked me to do something that I did not want to do. She asked me to step out on faith and let God work in me and through me to reach others. My heart started pounding, I got tears in my eyes and I really wanted to shout NO NO NO, I CANNOT DO THAT!!! I knew that was what I wanted and not what God wanted though so I came to that point in the road where God actually took me up on what I say to Him each day. Sometimes when we say some thing we don't always mean it, or we mean it but on our terms or with ou...