tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14444537426347616272024-03-04T23:00:08.566-06:00From My Heart...I'll pour water over you and scrub you clean. I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll put my Spirit within you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You'll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You'll be my people! I'll be your God! Ezekiel 36: 25-28 MSGDenissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-48028228052226033202022-12-29T17:48:00.001-06:002022-12-29T18:13:19.971-06:00The Soil Has Been Turned<p> 2022...I have spent the last month thinking about what this year has meant to me, how it has changed me, what I have learned, the ways that I have grown and what God has done. When I started this year with the phrase "Turning the Soil" I did not know what to expect but I knew I was expectant. I was ready for God to do something in me that He had never done before. </p><p>Last year when I felt God giving me this phrase to define the coming new year I looked up (googled) "turning the soil" and this a few of the things that struck me: turning over and breaking up the soil; disturbing the roots of the weeds; best to till when the soil is dry; helps cushion the force of pounding raindrops; allows oxygen and vital nutrients to reach the roots. </p><p>Let me tell you, when God says it He delivers! My ground (my heart) was dry, it was hard and it was thirsting for something different. </p><p>This past year I have spent time with God in prayer and diving into His word. I have prayed for my kids, my husband and others like I never have before. I have listened and acted when I knew God was speaking to me. I have stopped praying for things because I heard Him tell me my faith was lacking and it was time to stop talking about it. He has told me to stop questioning what I know He has already spoken and start doing it. I have prayed out loud to & over my kids when God told me fear was holding them back and then I saw them do the thing that they were afraid to do. I have pushed through hurts and kept praying when I wanted to give up. I have forgiven. I have healed. I have kept my words to myself at times when I wanted to spew hurt back at people but knew that was not what would be pleasing to my Father, instead I prayed for them. Our church family has prayed over us and spoken God's truth's into our lives when we needed it most. I have seen God's promises come to fruition. Some of His promises we are still standing on and praising Him until He says it is time. The storms no longer overtake me and make me feel like I am drowning. God's glory has rained down on me, soaking my heart. My soil has been turned, broken and made fresh. </p><p>I am thankful for the growing and the weeding that my heart and mind has gone through this year. The drought has ended but my heart is more thirsty now, for the presence of the Lord, than is was before. </p><p>God is good to me. </p><p><i>And I will give you a new heart and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. Ezekiel 36:26 NLT</i></p><div>God Bless, </div><div>Denissa</div>Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-5633748625955159882021-12-31T14:07:00.000-06:002021-12-31T14:07:29.082-06:00Turning - the Soil<p> Last Sunday, December 26, 2021, the last Sunday of the year, I was sitting in church, not our usual church campus, listening to the Pastor begin his sermon. He started talking about being on the verge of a new year. My mind wandered and I thought, God you haven't given me a word yet. Then I heard Him, "Turning - the soil." I thought what?! Again I heard it, "Turning - the soil, write it down." Of course me being me I thought that can't be God but I wrote it down (just in case).</p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><ul><li><i><span>Side note: My rule concerning my "word of the year" is if it really is God speaking that word over me it will show up in the things I read or in my daily activities, it will come to mind repeatedly.</span></i> </li></ul><p></p><p>I will admit I was a little thrown off by this phrase. I have been asking God to give me a word that will define 2022, one that will grow me, comfort me in times of hardship, something I can offer to others when they need encouragement from a friend. I wanted a strong word, something different. God is a God of delivery. He gave me all of that and a little extra. </p><p>Some of the things I found when I looked up turning the soil: turning over and breaking up the soil; disturbing the roots of the weeds; best to till when the soil is dry; helps cushion the force of pounding raindrops; allows oxygen and vital nutrients to reach the roots.</p><p>For years I have been able to hear God speak things to my heart, at times it was almost audible. The past couple of months God has also been speaking to me through visions or pictures. When God spoke to me Turning - the soil, He also gave me the vision of a plow turning the soil. That picture has stuck in my mind and comes back to me every time I hear or think Turning - the soil. </p><p>When I think about God turning the soil of my heart, of my life, I realize that I have been in a drought the past few years. I have been hard and not much has penetrated any part of me. I stopped spending time in His word and in prayer. I have let the storms of life define my mindset. I feel like God is saying it is time to turn that old, hard ground into something new. It is time to break the top soil and make it soft and fresh again, to give it oxygen and nutrients that my soul has been missing. It is time to bury the old and turn it over with a refreshing smell and feel, a newness that I have not encountered before. The soil is dry and it is the perfect time to let God do some turning and breaking.</p><p>This does not mean that this coming year or season will be easy and there will be no storms. It does not mean that I will live each day in perfectness. However, it does mean that when the raindrops fall they will be cushioned by God's heavenly grace, and my soul will be watered and fed. I need to stop shielding myself with an umbrella and let the spirit of the Lord drench me. </p><p>As I get older and I learn more about life I can see that I am better off letting the small things go. It is ok for me to pull the weeds that overtake my garden and sometimes there are weeds that are deeply rooted that are impossible to pull, so maybe there is a growing moment in that for me. I have learned not every one will think my garden is the prettiest but as long as God is pleased, that is all that truly matters. I have also learned that just because I plant a seed that does not mean I get to watch it grow, but what matters is that the seed was planted. When I plant a seed, water it and get to watch it grow, it might not grow the way I pictured it would. That does not mean I stop watering it or give up on it because God is really the one who knows what the mature plant will look like. Some times if you keep watering and waiting (silently) God will make a big, beautiful crop out of an ugly beginning or middle. </p><p>As we move out of 2021 and into 2022 my ground (heart) is ready to be turned, is yours? Ask the Lord to prepare you for all the seasons this new year will hold. Ask Him to keep turning you through the good days and through the rain showers and the hurricanes. Remember some days you will be laying on a beach soaking up the sunshine but others will be dark and stormy with the wind and dirt raging. Praise Him through it all. Allow the rain to penetrate your life and water your dry land. Allow your soil to be turned and broken so that it can be renewed by the One that created it. </p><p><b><i>And I will give you a new heart and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. Ezekiel 36:26 NLT</i></b></p><p>Happy New Year and God Bless you,</p><p>Denissa</p>Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-5644224050377853952017-12-30T12:58:00.001-06:002017-12-30T12:58:40.810-06:00Be Still and KnowIn 2017 God's constant whisper to my heart was "Be Still" along with the verse Psalms 46:10. <div>
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It was not in the physical sense of the phrase, it was in the mental sense. My mind has a tendency to constantly wander. Very seldom are my thoughts ever still. As 2016 closed and 2017 began my heart was not still, nor where my thoughts.</div>
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As I googled Be Still I learned that it comes from the Hebrew word raphah meaning <span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Lexicon.show/ID/H7495/rapha.htm" style="font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to mend (by stitching), i.e. (figuratively) to cure:--cure, (cause to) heal, physician, repair, X thoroughly, make whole</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Be Still also refers to that which is slack, to let drop or to be disheartened or weak. Some of those words are seldom in my vocabulary (especially weak)!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">At the beginning of this year I was in dire need of mending and healing; spiritually, mentally & even physically, but I did not want to be weak in order for that to happen.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">I have learned that when I am able to be weak it is then that He is able to be strong. When I could no longer carry the </span>burdens that life was dealing my God picked me up, along with those burdens, and He carried me through. He dealt with the things that I thought were impossible. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As we approach a new year God has so faithfully stitched those wounds that I have carried for too many years. On days when my thoughts were racing and I was hopeless I chose to Be Still, I chose to let all things drop out of my control. That is when God chose to be I Am and not only repaired but restored.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As I look forward to 2018 God has called our family to big changes. I will start the new year with a new job. After more than 2 1/2 years at TownTalk Radio God has called me to be more involved with our business, Rescue Plumbing. I will start answering phones and doing bookkeeping for the business. Cody and I prayed for months about this transition and felt it very heavy on our hearts to make the change. What a blessing that our business has grown in just over a years time!! Cody is no longer able to handle the business on his own. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It is not easy leaving a job and co-workers I loved. I am thankful for the time I had at TTR. It was a God-ordained time of healing for me. I know without a doubt God put me there during that season so that He could use each person there to speak truth and love into my heart. I will be forever grateful for the friendships that were created!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As we begin this new season in our family and our business I will continue to Be Still but in that stillness I will PRAISE Him for whatever is to come!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Denissa</span></div>
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-85531878596792865782016-12-26T18:08:00.000-06:002016-12-26T18:08:49.375-06:00The Choices that were MadeAs I sit here listening to the sound of my kids playing with their presents from the first CHRISTmas in our house my mind wanders to moments from the past year.<br />
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It has been almost a year since we signed papers on our home. So much has happened in this year, not all good but not all bad. We have had so many good, godly people standing around us through those good and bad times. Sometimes the ones that you think will be there holding your arms up are the first ones out the door when your strength is gone. In that moment is when you find the unexpected ones that grab hold of you with all their might, don't ask questions, just pray, love and speak what God lays on their heart for you.<br />
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So many days I heard God whisper to my heart, asking if I was going to follow His plans or my own. So many hard decisions that were made. Decisions that did not always go the way I planned. So many moments when I did not want to follow God's plans. Those were the moments God placed people in my path to speak to the dark places of my soul that did not care what God's plan was because I wanted life to be my way.<br />
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As I sit here and think about those decisions and choices I wonder did I follow His plan at every turn? When the people around us did not like the decisions we made, was it God's plan? When it felt like we were suffering, was it God's plan? When so much anger raged inside of me, was it God's plan?<br />
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It's easy for me to see God's plan when it creates goodness and joy. But what about when it does not? Is it still God's plan?<br />
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As I look back on the choices that were made, hard, gut-wrenching choices. Choices that caused hurt to some and ourselves; choices that set our family apart from everything we have known for our entire marriage; choices that family and friends did not agree with. Choices that we questioned ourselves, choices that drew lines in the sand and choices that had to be made at any and all costs. Many of these choices determined the future of our family.<br />
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As my mind lingers over each of these I hear the soft, smooth voice of my Savior saying "my plans not yours, be still and know."<br />
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God bless,<br />
Denissa<br />
<br />Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-75625435740702757882016-04-07T20:38:00.000-05:002016-04-08T20:20:26.906-05:00I Was Lost<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">I was lost... lost in the hurt...lost in the frustration...lost in the fury...lost in my will.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">Day after day I wandered in a black forest, seeing nothing, just trying to feel my way through the darkness. Not all who wander are lost but I was lost. I was alone. I was afraid. I was angry. When I looked around all I could see were the broken dreams, broken promises, broken me. I needed help but I could not find it or maybe I did not want it. Maybe I could fix it on my own.</span></div>
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How did I get here?! </div>
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What did I do wrong?</div>
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When did I loose myself in this hate?</div>
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Where do I go from here?</div>
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I did not have any of the right answers. </div>
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I hear a voice, it is calling me. Someone is there but I cannot see them. I do not want to. I want to stay in the forest. I like the black forest. It is my protection from feeling the hurt again.</div>
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Lies. Lies. Lies. </div>
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All of it is Lies.</div>
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I still hear the voice. Soft, loving, understanding voice. The voice makes the forest seem uncomfortable again. How can the voice show me love when all I have to give is brokenness and hostility?! I notice a glimmer of light through the dark. No. I do not want light. I hear the voice again. I recognize the voice. It is a familiar voice. A voice I know. A voice I heard daily for many years. A voice I desired to hear at one time. A voice I once was obedient to. When did the voice stop talking to me?</div>
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Did the voice stop talking or did I stop listening?</div>
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I remember...I was hurt time after time. I grew tired and weary. </div>
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I hardened my heart to the voice.</div>
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I decided my will was better. </div>
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I lost control, my will did not work.</div>
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I go to the light.</div>
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Those are the answers.</div>
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The voice, God's voice is coaxing me out of the dark forest. He is picking up all of the broken pieces, the hurt, despair, hate, hopelessness, faithlessness, the broken marriage, the broken family, me. God is putting it all back together, His way. His plan.</div>
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I was lost...but now I am found.</div>
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God bless,</div>
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Denissa</div>
</span>Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-53888646526897121182015-12-31T12:18:00.001-06:002015-12-31T13:05:26.800-06:00PLANS<h2>
<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">I know the plans that I have for you, declares </span><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">Yahweh</span></b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (Names of God Bible)</span></i></span></h2>
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<i style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 15px; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yahweh (YHWH): </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 15px;">Comes from a verb which means “to exist, be.” This, plus its usage, shows that this name stresses God as the independent and self-existent God of revelation and redemption (from Bible.org)</span></i></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Bitter, Georgia, Times New Roman, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 15px;">As I sit in the still and quiet of this house my eyes drift to the </span></span><span style="font-family: Bitter, Georgia, Times New Roman, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">chaos of life around me, my mind wants to drift to the days past of 2015 but my heart only wants to focus on the days to come. In years past I would anticipate the new year with great expectations but I have since learned that life happens and life is hard. Life can be fabulous but it can also be dreary. Life events do not respect the newness of a new year, they happen none the less, good or bad, regardless of what the calendar reads. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Bitter, Georgia, Times New Roman, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">One of my new year traditions, as many of you know but some do not, is to ask God for a word and verse for the coming year. For 2015 it was Faith, Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm. Isaiah 7:9b (NLT). I learned that my faith is weak and at some points during 2015 it was nonexistent. God never left me but at times I left Him. It was a very trying year for myself, my marriage, my family. I do not want to go back to those times. What happened happened...it is done...it cannot be redone or undone...it is done. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Bitter, Georgia, Times New Roman, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">I tend to have big ideas that never pan-out in life, as they do in my mind. I make plans that fall through. I calculate every word, motion, breath, God calculates differently than me. I have found my mind many times going over these calculated plans as my eyes adjust to see the unplanned movements happening in front of me. I catch myself, in these moments of uncertainty, asking God "Where are YOU?!" I hear Him answer back "I Am with you. My plans are not your plans." I find myself asking back in anger, "What are YOUR plans?!" My mind whirling, anger surrounding me, I hear..."MY PLANS are not to harm you, they are plans for good and plans for hope. My plans are for hardships that equal growth. My plans are for you." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Bitter, Georgia, Times New Roman, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Within the last few weeks many times I have been asked "What do you plan to do?" by loved ones around me. I have come to realize I do not know. The plans I had were my plans, not God's plans. </span></span><span style="font-family: Bitter, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">The plans I had did not work.</span><span style="font-family: Bitter, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"> I no longer have any plans. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Bitter, Georgia, Times New Roman, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Today I will walk the path that God as placed before me, one step at a time, one day at a time, some moments one second at a time. I no longer have plans, it is time for Yahweh's PLANS. PLANS of redemption and revelation. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">I know the plans that I have for you, declares </span><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">Yahweh</span></b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (Names of God Bible)</span></i></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">God Bless,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">Denissa</span></span></div>
Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-64950862489742779202015-09-23T14:10:00.003-05:002015-09-23T14:10:57.989-05:00Joy<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 24px;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10b NLT</span></i><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">The Lord is my joy.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Not my husband. Not my children. Not myself. Not my job. Not my paycheck or my husband's. Not anything or anyone on this earth.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">My joy comes from my God.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">This was a hard realization that I had to come to within the past few weeks. I unknowingly put my joy into everything except the Lord. I would get so upset when my husband or kids made a mistake. I would get angry when life did not go my way. I was headed in a downward spiral fast </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">because of the fact that I was counting on people and things to provide my joy. That is impossible! Only God can provide my joy (If I choose to let him)!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">I remember the moment I can to this realization.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">My husband had done something (again). He was not filling my joy cup the way I thought he should, he was draining it and at this point it was bone dry. I was mad. He was mad. The kids were not happy. Even the dog kept her distance. In my mind I thought why can he not just make me happy? That is when I heard that voice that tends to whisper truth at the most perfect moment, it is called the Holy Spirit. The voice said "I am your joy, not the husband." Ugh really!? Again the voice, "The Lord is your joy." Then Nehemiah 8:10 pops in my head. It took me a few days to think this through. I spent days with my mind in rewind going over many situations where my joy was not coming from the Lord. I began to realize it was not my husbands fault that I was not joyful. It was mine. Just because I was choosing to depend on my husband to provide me with joy did not mean it was his fault for failing! My husband is human, he is going to fail me every day just as I will and do fail him daily. We are human, that is what humans do...WE FAIL!! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">After the few days it took for me to come to this realization I had to stop and ask God to forgive me for being so self consumed. From that moment when aggravating situations arise and I start to let them get the best of me I hear that still small voice telling me "where is your joy." Many times I have actually said out loud my joy comes from the Lord not from this person or this situation. (Some times I need to say it more than once or twice!) </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">I am a work in progress. But isn't that what matters most?...That we are making progress?! We all need to be a work in progress because if we are not working on progress we are staying the same and that gets us nowhere. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Some days I long for the day I "arrive" but I know that will not happen until I am bowing at the perfect feet of my beloved Savior. Until that time comes I will be satisfied with being a work in progress. And I will know where my joy comes from...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">My joy and my strength come from the Lord!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">God Bless,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Denissa</span></span>Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-18910781730652874302015-03-10T13:09:00.001-05:002015-03-10T13:09:19.135-05:00FAITHMy word for this year is FAITH. <br />
Unless your FAITH is firm, I cannot make you stand firm. Isaiah 7:9b NLT<br />
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My word for 2014 was TRUST.<br />
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The definition of FAITH is complete trust or confidence in someone or something.<br />
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So FAITH is the same as trust...<br />
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I admit, I was offended!<br />
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I always pray and ask God to give me a word that I can cling to for the entire coming year, a word that is going to define me and grow my relationship with my King. Why would God give me practically the same word two years in a row!? Did I not trust you enough last year God?!<br />
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As 2015 started Satan wasted no time in carrying over his non-sense attacks from last year on our family. As I began to meditate on Isaiah 7:9, I began to look at my FAITH. What exactly does God mean when He says he cannot make me stand firm unless my FAITH is firm? I read my Bible everyday, I pray every day. How is my FAITH not firm?! <br />
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Recently our family was hit hard, possibly the hardest we have ever been hit so far. My FAITH was shaken to the very core, and I began to analyze every day of my life for the past eighteen years. I felt as if every thing I had was being ripped from me and I had no control over any of it. I questioned God's will for my life. Why would God keep me in a place of hurt and despair? God began speaking to my heart that He was not keeping me in this dark place, I was choosing to focus on the negative. Many times through this situation I read Isaiah 7:9, the more I read it the more I realized my FAITH was not firm and therefore I was not standing firm. I began to see that my FAITH goes beyond trust, it is more than believing God is going to work things out for our good. FAITH is an act of strength, it is an action that I have to use every day.<br />
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A few months ago my SIL/best friend was telling me how God used the story of Peter walking on water to show her some things in her life. That story came back to me a few weeks ago. I felt how I would imagine Peter felt when he began sinking. I said to God, "I do not know when I took my eyes off of you and I began to sink." I felt God speaking to me saying just because your FAITH is firm does not mean you won't go under water but when you are under water is your FAITH still firm? He told me if my FAITH was still firm then I needed to start acting like it, pick myself up and stand firm, even when the ground beneath me was shaking. Just because God called me to go through some rough waters (or perhaps a hurricane) does not mean that I have a right to give up. He began to show me that when my FAITH is firm He will get me through anything. <br />
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FAITH is more than trust...<br />
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FAITH is my defense against the enemy! FAITH is something I have, and the devil does not have, and cannot have! FAITH is favor with God!<br />
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Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving FAITH, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one]. Ephesians 6:16 AMP<br />
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Unless your FAITH is firm, I cannot make you stand firm. Isaiah 7:9b NLT<br />
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God bless, <br />
DenissaDenissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-67760066500389904662014-12-30T14:00:00.001-06:002014-12-30T14:00:55.117-06:00ShakenThis year we have been shaken. We have been shaken by the hand of God, at times to our core. As I reflect back over 2014 I am reminded that we needed to be shaken, we needed to be removed from our cozy box, even our children, so that our TRUST in our Maker could grow.<br />
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I knew last December when God gave me the word TRUST that 2014 would not be an easy year, but never in my wildest, biggest imagination could I ever have dreamed that it would be what it was. <br />
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Before CHRISTmas break 2013 my son's first grade teacher mentioned that he was having a hard time reading. Soon after the first of the year, 2014, she told me she talked to the Dyslexia teacher and they thought he needed to be tested. Also after the break I went to work as a full time sub in the Pre-K class as the aide for the remainder of the semester. I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years, and although this does not seem that major, it hit me deep! I really do not know how all of you working moms do it!! Things got busy at school and the Dyslexia teacher was not able to start testing Justice until May and during this time we also found out she had taken a job at another school in the town we actually live in. We also lost a very dear family friend during May. Jonny Baby was a great man, he was not perfect but he was forgiven and is very loved. He was my five years old's (four at the time) best friend. There is still a void in all of our hearts that will never be filled until we meet again at those pearly gates. In June it was official our son is dyslexic. We had already been praying about moving our kids to a different school and when we found out about this we prayed even harder. In June God laid it on my husband's heart to resign from being the youth pastor at our church after five years. We had poured our hearts into that ministry and the kids, we lived in church housing, and within minutes it was all gone. We did not understand why God would put us there only to rip us away with nothing to show for it. In July my husband started having bouts of depression. In August after months of praying about changing schools we really felt God leading us to move all three kids. Our oldest daughter was starting 6th grade and she was not happy about leaving the school (and friends) she had attended since Pre-K. There were lots of nerves and tears on the first day of school this year. I could not wait for the kids to get home so I could find out how their first day was. My heart dropped when my oldest daughter got in the Yukon and said it was the worst day ever, especially after the other two loved their new schools! Every day at school got better for Justice and Hartly, but every day got worse for Grace. It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, sending my daughter to school every day knowing she was not happy and not being able to do anything to change it. One evening when we were talking about her day she asked me why she could not just go back to her old school. I told her this was not easy for me either, in life we need to grow and when we are in our comfy, cozy box we cannot grow so God shakes us out of our coziness. If He did not shake us up every once in a while we would never learn to TRUST in Him. We always have a choice to stay snug and warm or to get out into the unknown, both will be hard eventually, but one comes with a bigger blessing at the end. Boy was I preaching to the choir that night!! In September my husband changed jobs and went back to work for the family business. In October my husband and I began family coaching. It seemed after months of hurt and change we just could not get on the same page and we knew we needed help. It was one of the best things we could have ever done for ourselves, our marriage and our family. At the end of October we found a house to rent and were able to move out of our church provided housing. At this time we also felt God pulling us out of our church all together. I really wanted to stay until the end of the year (Cody said he felt we should leave sooner) but that is not what God had planned. I remember walking into service one Sunday morning at the end of November and for the first time in over 13 years of attending the same church, I felt as if I did not belong. This was the church that I had swept the floors of when it was first becoming a church. This was the same church each of my babies had been dedicated in, and one was baptized in. Our family had began and grown in this church, seeds had been planted in me, Cody and our kids in this church. Even though the people had changed over the years the church never had, it was my home and my comfort, well it had been until that morning and the moment my foot crossed the threshold of the door I knew it was no longer where my family belonged. In that moment I was shaken to the core. I do not remember what our Pastor preached on that morning because I spent every second of the service thinking and remembering all of the moments and the people that had crossed my path in that building. I left with tears in my eyes knowing we would not be back. The first Sunday of December we attended church with my husbands brother and his family. God spoke to us that morning through the message. The kids loved their kids church and youth also. We have since been attending each Sunday service. We do not know yet if this is where God wants us permanently but for this season He is filling us with His word and giving our hearts rest as we wait upon Him to direct us.<br />
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As I type this today we are finally feeling settled into our temporary home. We have overcome a lot over this past year. Our kids love their new schools, Grace is very involved and is thankful for the change, Justice has made tremendous progress with his reading and Hartly loves Kindergarten. There have been many times this year I have thought my TRUST has failed God miserably but no matter what He has loved me through it all. There have been many times I have thought I cannot wait for 2014 to pass but I know now that 2015 might not hold the same challenges but it will hold new ones, some may be easier than the ones we faced this year and some may be more difficult but regardless God will see us through it all as long as we have faith.<br />
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God Bless,<br />
Denissa Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-38939418034871410962013-12-30T15:58:00.002-06:002013-12-30T15:58:33.158-06:00TRUST...2014<span class="hw">TRUST</span>
<span class="pron">(tr<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ubreve.gif" />st) </span><i>n.</i><br />
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<b>1. </b> Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.</div>
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<b>2. </b> Custody; care.</div>
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<b>3. </b> Something committed into the care of another; charge.</div>
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<b>4. </b><b>a. </b> The condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one.<div class="sds-list">
<b>b. </b> One in which confidence is placed.</div>
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<b>5. </b> Reliance on something in the future; hope.</div>
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TRUST v.</div>
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<b>1. </b> To have or place reliance; depend: <span class="illustration">Trust in the Lord. Trust to destiny.</span></div>
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<b>2. </b> To be confident; hope.</div>
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(definitions from <a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/">www.thefreedictionary.com</a>)</div>
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Synonyms for TRUST: confidence, faith</div>
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According to <a href="http://www.answers.yahoo.com/">www.answers.yahoo.com</a> the KJV Bible says the word TRUST 181 times.</div>
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It was just a few days into the month of December that the thought of a new word or verse for the upcoming new year began to creep into my mind. There have been so many times this year that I have clung to Psalm 105:4, Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him., that I was not ready to replace it with something new, the year still had several weeks left and I wanted to used every last day with my verse to the fullest; so immediately I pushed the thought out of my mind. This continued for a few days until I finally put my foot down with God and told Him I was not ready for a new word or verse so He just needed to hold off!!</div>
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On December 16, 2013 I was doing some CHRISTmas shopping, when a checkbook cover caught my eye. I had been looking for a new checkbook cover for some time now. As I picked it up I noticed it had a small silver plate on the front with a word engraved on it, my first thought is it says hope or faith just like most things. It said TRUST. I was so surprised that I almost dropped it! A feeling I cannot describe came over me and I knew instantly TRUST was my word for 2014, then Proverbs 3:5-6, TRUST in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths, pops into my mind, but my stubborn self once again said God I am not ready for a new word. (I bought the checkbook cover by the way!) :) The very next day my sister-in-law and I were walking through the mall. We turned a corner and I am staring straight at a sign that says TRUST in the Lord...Really God, did you not hear me!? From that point on it seemed like every where I turned, every song I heard, every verse I read, everything was about TRUST. So I gave in and I accepted my new word and verse for the coming year!</div>
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I just could not understand why God was giving me this word. There have been so many times that God has called me to step out of my comfort zone and I do (after lots of debating) but I always end up doing it! Why this word?! Honestly I was a little offended to think God thought I do not TRUST Him! As I thought about the word God began to reveal areas of my life that are lacking in TRUST, places where my faith is weak, places that I tend to keep hidden and buried, things that I do not like to deal with. All of these began to surface over the next few days and I realized I wanted to control and fix and bandage and hide and I could not do it. Things that I thought were okay, were not; things that I thought I had dealt with I had not; places I thought I trusted God I did not. I felt as if my world was spinning out of control and the only way to stop it was to grab onto this offensive little word and hold on with all my might!! So that is exactly what I did. I began to repeat Proverbs 3:5-6 over and over. I made a choice to say I TRUST you God with our bank account; I TRUST you with my husband; I TRUST you with my kids; I TRUST you with the election; I TRUST you with my hearts desires; I TRUST you when every thing within me is coming unraveled by fear, hurt and uncertainty; I TRUST you with every part of me, my life, my family, my future. I TRUST YOU.</div>
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Each time I choose to say I TRUST you God, the pounding in my heart is lessened, the turning in my stomach subsides, the worries in my head become less. Every time I open my word and spend time in God's presence my TRUST grows and every thing else shrinks. I am so guilty of missing what today holds because I am already planning tomorrow or next week or next year, but I have started to notice that maybe I do this because I do not TRUST God enough to just enjoy this moment. Every year when I get my "word of the year" I tend to think oh no what does this mean I am going to have to deal with this time, what hardships am I going to face that I need this word. These thoughts immediately began to resonate in my mind again this time. I let them fester for a few days, but as I sit here pouring my non-trusting self out to all of you I realize I do not need to look to the year in advance instead I need to TRUST God with what today holds until tomorrow arrives.</div>
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I do not know what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow... so I will TRUST God with today.</div>
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Happy New Year!!</div>
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God Bless,</div>
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Denissa </div>
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-50605699721703368712013-09-25T14:01:00.001-05:002013-09-25T14:01:28.156-05:00Zambia Mission Trip Day 9- Monze, ZambiaJune 27, 2013<br />
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Daily Scripture (exactly as it was sent): Until God opens the next door...praise him in the hallway!<br />
1 Thessalonians 5:18 ... Give THANKS in all circumstances; for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.<br />
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This morning we went to Pastor Kapapa's house to do some plumbing work. The guys got his family a toilet plumbed inside their house! :)<br />
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We then went back to Simukale Village to feed and play with the kids. I would've taken every kid out there a pb&j sandwich but I was told it just wasn't possible! We did take extra and give to the cooks though. They said they were nice (so they liked them)! They love trying American food. Grace took some candy (sweets is what they call it) to give to the kids- she got mobbed and Miss Gaylene had to save her. Pastor Kapapa's kids came with us today. I think Grace liked having them there because they speak English and Tonga. One girl, named Veronica, followed Grace every where, she is 13 and speaks good English also. We were told she needs a sponsor and Grace said she would like for us to sponsor her. A sponsor helps pay for the child's meal each day, their school fees and medical expenses. I was drawn to a 4 year old boy named Jhalem. His smile out shined the sun! He is an ornery little guy- perhaps that's why I was so taken by him! He is also needing a sponsor. Every one loved to have their picture taken and then see it on our cameras. When I pull out my picture album that I brought of our friends and family they all pile on top of one another just to get a glimpse. As little as each one has they still have an unspeakable joy! It truly is amazing!! When you give them something they take it, they do not say I don't like that color or flavor. They always want more of every thing but are also happy to share- no matter how big or small the amount. It is very dry here, very dusty and dirty. Many do not have homes so they build fires to keep them warm at night. There is also a very heavy smoke smell at all times. It really does make me realize how blessed we are. Again today my eyes filled with tears as we hugged and said good-bye. Grace's friend Veronica, asked if we will be back next year. I pray by the grace of God we are able to return. I cannot wait to bring Justice and Hartly, as I looked into the precious eyes of these kids I longed for JC and Hartly to be here with us, learning and loving- some day soon!! A day and a half was just not enough time but for whatever reason it is what God wanted and for that reason I am okay. Grace also told me that she wants to come back again next summer! My heart already aches knowing we will not see them tomorrow.<br />
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Until our next trip I will praise Him in the hallway!!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grace and Veronica</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jhalem and Me</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grace showing her pictures from home.</td></tr>
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If you would like more information on becoming a sponsor for a child please visit <a href="http://www.luyando.org/">www.luyando.org</a>.Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-24735400314768854912013-09-09T13:32:00.001-05:002013-09-09T13:34:46.648-05:00Zambia Mission Trip Day 8- Monze, ZambiaJune 26, 2013<br />
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Daily Scripture text (exactly as it was sent): But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Amen!!!! Isaiah 40:31 NLT Have a blessed day! <br />
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When we got to Monze we checked into our motel-Southern Comfort- not like any motel I've ever seen- had one room huts with grass roofs- yes they were quite cute! (The British say quite a lot so I think I might have picked up on it!-Giggle :)-) OK...Then we headed straight to the village of Simikale. We visited a school there and worked with Luyando Kids Club. They cook a meal and feed some of the kids. Before the bus even stopped the kids were crowding the bus! They are fascinated by Americans!! We immediately started helping wash dishes and pump water. We were able to play games with the kids and love on them. Every single one is so precious!! We met kids as young as 4 years up to 13 years, and a few little babies. There were ladies there that cook the meal every day. Today they had nshima, cabbage and sausage. We were able to eat with them. Talking to Kelsey (founder of Luyando KC) I found out this meal is the kids only meal, for most, of the day. Not all of the kids eat because Luyando is christian based and their parents are a different religion- called Seventh Day Adventist- so their children are not allowed to eat the food because it is made by Christians, even if there is no food at home. I felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks! Number 1- This was quite possibly their ONLY MEAL and number 2- Some kids had to watch the other kids eat and do without the ONLY MEAL they would have a chance to eat that day because of their religion!! As hungry as I was and as good as the food tasted, I could not bring myself to eat my bowl of food. Every bite I would take tears would stream down my face. I had already had one meal today and I had a bag full of snacks in my room and here I sit with a bowl full of food that one of those babies could be eating. I told Gaylene I wanted to give my food to the kids; she told me I could set my bowl on the ground next to them and after I walked away they would take it and eat it or even take it home so the rest of their family could eat. So that's what I did.<br />
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I think of the many times I have prayed- God, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Today is the day He answered my prayer! My heart is broken in more ways than I could ever put down on this paper!<br />
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I am so proud of Grace also. She has walked through every hardship, same as the adults and teenagers and has yet to whine or cry. She has eaten everything put in front of her (well tasted it at least!), enjoyed every obstacle and loved on those kids like Jesus would have. The kids love her and she has loved them back wholeheartedly!<br />
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We have only been here half a day and I already do not want to leave. Tears ran down my cheeks as I got back on the bus. I cannot wait to see what the rest of the week holds in store for us. God is good!!<br />
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-64264079810194675192013-09-09T12:49:00.000-05:002013-09-09T12:55:08.115-05:00Zambia Mission Trip Days 6 & 7- TravelingJune 24-25, 2013<br />
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Daily Scripture (June 24) (typed exactly as it was sent): HAPPY MONDAY :)! The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever. Isaiah 32:17 Have a blessed day!<br />
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Daily Scripture (June 25) (typed exactly as it was sent): Sometimes bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. GOD is good.... Have a wonderful Tuesday! Love you<br />
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We arrived at the airport early today- did not want to miss our flight (giggle)! When we went to get our tickets we found out the airline canceled our flight! NOT JOKING!!! At this point we were saying OK GOD?! There was another flight leaving an hour after when ours was supposed to leave and they just happen to have enough seats for the 12 of us! YEA GOD!! We flew eleven hours to Johannesburg, ran through customs and the airport there so we would not miss our next flight since we left late! Then another 2 1/2 hours to Lusaka, then we stayed the night there. The next morning we rode a bus to Monze. Yes I was heavily sedated for nearly two straight days and remember very little, BUT I did not get sick! Praise God!! :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome to Zambia!</td></tr>
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-36162526728893106502013-08-14T17:36:00.002-05:002013-08-14T17:36:56.853-05:00Zambia Mission Trip Day 5- LondonJune 23, 2013<br />
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(No daily scripture on the weekends)<br />
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We had another day of touring. Today Gaylene, Rusty, Cade, Cody, Grace and I went to Windsor. We toured the Windsor Castle. It was quite fabulous! I enjoyed this part of London more than the other. It was more laid back- not as much hustle and bustle. They have cobblestone streets and pubs every where. It was a little romantic! Maybe someday Cody and I will come back and visit a nice little bed and breakfast. <br />
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We leave tomorrow for Johannesburg then on to Zambia. I absolutely CANNOT WAIT to get my hands on those precious babies!! I am a little sad that our days in the village have been cut short but I do know that it is all in God's hands and is not without cause! <br />
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Oh yes- we also found out Pastor Kappapa forgot to reserve our bus tickets to get us from Lusaka to Monze, so if we had left London when we planned then we would not have had a ride...hmmm another God thing!?<br />
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-6205980947774296242013-08-13T18:15:00.000-05:002013-08-13T18:15:17.334-05:00Zambia Mission Trip Day 4- LondonJune 22, 2013<br />
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(No daily scripture on the weekend)<br />
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Today was a good day! The weather here is amazing! It is cool and misty most of the day, the wind blows and it can get pretty chilly. We went into London again and walked through town. Grace rode the London Eye with Jeanne, Katrina, Kailey and David. We did not have as many people ask about our shirts today but we all noticed people reading them. I pray that each one goes home and googles I am Second. It was a very nice and relaxing day thankfully!<br />
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We were able to call home and check on the other two kids tonight. They sounded good! I have missed their sweet voices and Hartly's precious giggle. We are so blessed that we have family to help us. I am ready for a good nights rest and to see what tomorrow will hold. Praise God for another blessed day! I am clinging to Jesus!<br />
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-12717501580707244122013-08-06T10:13:00.000-05:002013-08-13T18:01:43.460-05:00Zambia Misson Trip Day 3- LondonJune 21, 2013<br />
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Daily Scripture (typed exactly like it was sent): Philippians 4:6 says don't worry about anything, instead PRAY about everything. Tell God what you need: and thank him for what he has done. AMEN! So stay the course. Keep believing!! You may be tired, discouraged and frustrated but don't give up... OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL!!! Happy Friday... Have a wonderful weekend!<br />
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(I am getting glory bumps just typing this and remembering what all we encountered that day! (Grin))<br />
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We spent the night in the airport. I laid down in 2 hard plastic chairs and crashed. When I woke up I noticed people around Grace and me (she was asleep with her feet at my head in the next two chairs). I went around to get my glasses on the other side of the chairs from where we were sleeping. I slipped my glasses on, I looked up and the very first thing I saw was a girl dressed in black pants, with a black hoodie, with the hood on her head, with dark eyes, looking at me from under her hood. The stare and blankness in her eyes made me gasp and look away. I walked over to Cody, and he told me that he had been up all night because that girl and another girl and some guys had been hovering around Grace and me. He thought they were trying to steal my phone, and saw them actually touch Grace's ipod. One of the girls even slept on the floor under the chairs I was sleeping in! I went to the bathroom to freshen up, while in there I thought why would someone do that?! I IMMEDIATELY felt the Holy Spirit say "There is evil all around you." Then the face of that girl flashed into my head followed by other small demon like people wearing black hoodies over their faces. I remember when Cody was telling me what happened I turned and looked at her again and she was still staring at me with the same look and she never took her eyes off of us. I started praying for God's angels to surround our entire group and for His safety and guidance. I shared my thoughts with Gaylene before I left the restroom. When I went back to where we "camped out" one girl had moved from the floor and was in the chair across from Grace (I never saw this one's face it was covered every time I looked at her), the other with the evil stare was laying down where I had slept, in the same position I was sleeping in. I could feel such a heaviness around us that I felt like I was suffocating! I went to Grace, she was still sleeping, and began to pray God's protection over her; Cody saw me and joined in agreement with me. I told Cody we must move NOW. I woke Grace up, we gathered our group and we moved. Gaylene told me that she was suddenly woken up by pain in her calves; it felt as if someone/something was grabbing them and twisting her muscles. She could physically see the knots being pulled on her calves (and she had finger-like bruises on her legs later that day!) The enemy was certainly lurking in our presence. I am not sure that I have ever seen the enemy in such a way or felt it as I did this morning!<br />
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Even though Gaylene was woken up by the enemy attacks she also had a clear direction from God as to what we should do. We decided to change our flights to Monday so that we could stay together. As I write these words on these pages I am sitting in the hotel lobby waiting on our rooms to be available. Everyone is asleep in the lobby except Gaylene, Jeanne, Rusty and myself. I forgot to write something that happened late last night- We went to the only open store in the airport to get food because we had not eaten since about 2pm, the guy checking us out asked David about our shirts (I am Second). When David explained it to him he did not step away as if we were lepers, instead he was fascinated by our mission, and boldness. Later Cody went back to the store, and he once again checked him out, he saw Cody's I am Second bracelet, and ASKED Cody if he could have it to wear!! Cody gladly gave it away! That encounter made the entire days mis-happenings worth it. Thank you God!!<br />
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We were told that we had to claim our luggage before we left or it would be destroyed. So Gaylene, Rusty, David, Jeanne, Kailey and myself went through security to get it. As we were waiting to be escorted to the baggage claim I was standing by an airport worker (she was actually standing behind me) I noticed her when we walked into the room, she was smiling and I thought she had a glow about her but I did not notice that she was behind me after we went through the scanner thing. She said to me (behind my back) "You are on a mission." It was NOT a question she was asking- it was a statement! I thought Gaylene had already talked to her and told her; later I asked Gaylene and she said no she had not talked to her or told anyone what we were there for (in fact she said she never even saw the lady!)! I said to her "Yes we are.", then she asked where we were going next, I told her and then said "God must have had a different plan for us" and she did not respond, just smiled. As we turned to leave that area she stepped around the corner and yelled "I'll see you in Heaven!" That statement surprised me! As I journal about this now, hours later, the image of her face peeking around the corner pops back into my mind. As I was sharing this encounter with the kids in the taxi, on the way to the hotel, JT says, "What if she was an angel!?" We all believe that she was sent from God to assure us HE IS IN CONTROL! When we got to baggage claim they told us that all of our luggage was in storage and could stay there, and it would not be destroyed, except David's three bags were on the carousel already. David was the only person that did not pack an extra set of clothes in his carry-on (GRIN). God knows and is SO good!! We found David's bags and headed to the hotel. Since our rooms were not ready yet we decided to eat at the hotel buffet. As I was going to get my plate our waiter stopped me and asked "I am first since you are second?" Again God was using our shirts! I said "No, actually God is first and you and I are second." He asked if we are Christians because he was Roman Catholic, I said "well actually we are not either, we are Jesus." I got a funny look on that one (giggle)! He then asked if I would pray for him. That made me excited (maybe too excited!), I said "right now!" but he said no and asked if I would just remember him when I pray. His name is Kevin and he has loans that need to be paid off.<br />
Father, I know that you are faithful and will provide for Kevin. You are a generous, loving, giving God, and I thank you for that. I pray that Kevin will grow in his relationship with you, and come to know you on a whole new level. I pray that he will always remember he is second to you. I pray, and plead the blood of Jesus over Kevin and his finances. In Jesus most holy name- Amen.<br />
Kevin never came back to our table after that but as I sat and ate I could hear the Holy Spirit telling me to give him my I am Second bracelet. I kept looking for him so I could but I never could find him. As I got up to leave, he approached me again (confirmation?! I think YES!!) and said "please remember me in your prayers.". I asked him, "If I give you this bracelet will you wear it?", he said "Yes! Yes! Of course I will!". WOW!!! Thank you God! (grin)<br />
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We received some much needed rest today- in all aspects. Tomorrow our only plan is to go into the city, and wear our shirts, and to be Jesus. We are trusting Him to send us where He wants us to go. We, as a team, are growing closer and trusting each other more. I am ever so thankful for our heavenly Father's voice of discernment, and the strength He has provided each of us. Psalm 105:4 is unfolding before me as I trust in Him, and search for His strength continually, like never before. I praise my Father God for that! We close this day with a peace that I have not felt yet on this trip until today. I have so many things to be worshipful for, and ever so humble and thankful. I lay my head down to rest ever so thankful and excited to see what tomorrow shall bring. <br />
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I stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gives it all. I stand, my soul Lord, to you surrendered. All I am is Yours!<br />
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-19946502202669618522013-08-01T15:13:00.000-05:002013-08-13T18:00:47.115-05:00Zambia Mission Trip Day 2- LondonJune 20, 2013<br />
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Daily Scripture (typed exactly as it was sent!):<br />
Good morning!! Scripture for the day...Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let NOTHING move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. Amen! 1 Corinthians 15:58<br />
Second text that day: Annnd...Quote of the day. "Do not ask God to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet." Ouch! That one got me a littel bit... :)<br />
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It has been a LONG 2 days!! Lots of time on the plane. Lots of motion sickness. We took an open top bus tour around London today. London is fabulous, so much beautiful architecture and amazing history. We all wore our "I am Second" shirts and I am amazed at how many people here have no idea what it means. I pray that a seed has been planted in each heart that has asked "Who is first?"<br />
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We were late getting back to the airport and missed our flight (security check-in) by minutes. I got sick in the taxi on the way to the airport. I do not remember the last time that I was so sick from traveling- it has been awhile and I hope it is awhile before I am again. We got our tickets moved to the next flight out (a hour after the first) but the group went to get our backpacks out of the locker (I stayed behind because I was still sick) and they wouldn't let us on that flight either (through security). It has been a hectic, crazy day, filled with moments of intense stress, but we know God is in charge! I have NO doubt that God did not want us on those airplanes. When we missed the first flight we found out that Rusty, Cade, Cody, Grace and Kailey were originally on the 2nd flight with Shelby. I find it odd that our ticket itinerary did not show the three of us split up but the airline did. I'll hand that one to the enemy- he tried to split us up but God is bigger than that and He stepped in and crushed the enemies attempts. We see the enemy lurking and trying to defeat us but we know our strength is from the Lord and thankfully the Lord ALWAYS wins! We will possibly leave tomorrow but again the flights are split, 6 on each flight. We are praying and trusting God right now.<br />
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-84137751701945641752013-08-01T14:38:00.003-05:002013-08-13T18:04:08.335-05:00Zambia Bound Day 1The weekend before we left for Zambia I worked a Women's Walk to Emmaus, one of our walk traditions is that a member of the prayer team sends a text message to each team member telling them the verse of the day and which team member to pray for that day, this happens every day leading up to the walk and after the walk is over the messages stop...usually...<br />
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Our plane was scheduled to leave at 3:30 on June 19, 2 days after the walk ended, at 8:12 that morning I received a text from the lady sending out the walk texts, this is what it said: GOOD MORNING!!!! I feel lead to continue to send out the morning text :) if you would like to be removed from the list for any reason just please text me and let me know. Scripture of the day...1 Chronicles 16:11...Search for the Lord and all his strength; continually seek him.<br />
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My first thought was I need to text her to stop the texts since we are going to be gone and we will get charged for them, but I really will miss not getting them. My next thought was Hey! that's the same wording, different verse reference, of my scripture for this year, Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. Psalm 105:4. Okay God... Then I continued on with what I was doing at the time. When we arrived at Dallas airport it crossed my mind again to stop the texts but I really felt something telling me not to. I can look back now and see it was the Holy Spirit telling me not to because God was going to use every single text every day we were gone!<br />
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I kept a journal while we were gone and I have decided to share my journal entries with you on my blog. I have had so may people ask about our time away, and to be honest I cannot just give you a quick, couple minutes answer, I could go on for hours telling you everything that happened and everything God did during our time away, so I thought this would be the best way to share our experiences. I will also be sharing the verse that I received via text each day so that you can see how God worked through people that didn't even know He was working through them! :)<br />
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I hope you enjoy my next few blogs!! :)<br />
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God Bless,<br />
Denissa<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grace's first time to fly!! (Leaving Lubbock)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The plane we took to London.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leaving Dallas headed to London. She loves flying!!</td></tr>
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-51508224823432393062013-07-15T14:01:00.000-05:002013-07-15T14:01:55.686-05:00Dirt..."Dirt is dirt and we've all got it no matter where we come from. I'm not sure Christ sees one kind of dirt as dirtier than the other. One thing is for sure: His blood is able to bleach any stain left by any kind of dirt." Beth Moore<br />
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I saw this quote on my facebook page last week. I read it and then read it again and then I wrote it down. As I continued to reread it the memory of me washing the kids hands in Zambia came to mind. My three kids love to play outside, especially at my parents house out in the country, and they can get all kinds of dirty when they are out there all day. The kids in Zambia are no different, in fact they are probably more dirty than my kids. When it came time to eat in the village the kids would line up to have their hands washed. I was given a bar of soap and one by one I rubbed their precious little, dirty hands with that bar of soap. Then someone else would rinse their hands by pouring a pitcher of water over them. It never mattered how dirty their hands were the soap and water cleaned all of the dirt off every time.<br />
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Some people might say that Zambian dirt is different than Texas dirt, and it might have a different texture even, but dirt is dirt no matter which side of the world you are on. Christ looks at those Zambian babies the same as He looks at my babies; He looks at all people the same. The soap in America may be different than the soap in Zambia but both still do the same thing, clean. The same Jesus that loves Americans loves Zambians. The same blood of Christ that was shed for Americans was also shed for Zambians. That same blood bleaches all of us the same way no matter what kind of dirt is on our skin, there is not a better type of dirt or sin, they are all the same in Christ's eyes. <br />
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Even though I have used Americans and Zambians in my thoughts it is not limited to just those people, in fact there is no limit on Jesus' blood for anyone. <br />
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God Bless,<br />
Denissa<br />
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<a href="http://www.luyando.org/">www.luyando.org</a><br />
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-70124999867127062362013-01-29T12:44:00.000-06:002013-01-29T13:33:18.720-06:00The "Y" in My Path"YOUR will God, NOT mine!!"<br />
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That's easy to say when things are going good and you're in a happy place BUT when things are getting tough or God actually tells us ok then do this... and it's something we don't want to do or are not comfortable doing, it's not so easy then. <br />
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This was me weeks ago! I was in a happy place and every thing was going smooth and I liked how things were. Then on a Sunday afternoon I received a phone call from a friend and she asked me to do something that I did not want to do. She asked me to step out on faith and let God work in me and through me to reach others. My heart started pounding, I got tears in my eyes and I really wanted to shout NO NO NO, I CANNOT DO THAT!!! I knew that was what I wanted and not what God wanted though so I came to that point in the road where God actually took me up on what I say to Him each day. <br />
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Sometimes when we say some thing we don't always mean it, or we mean it but on our terms or with our stipulations. It's called CONTROL!!! I like for things to be in MY control!! But when we have a relationship with God we have to come to a point where we realize we are not in control, God is, yes we have a choice to let Him actually take control or not. If we choose to not give Him control then maybe we don't really have a relationship with Him after all!?<br />
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So here I stand at a "Y" in the road...I have a choice to make...GOD...or...MYSELF... I would love to say a huge, beaming smile jumped onto my face and I very excitedly said yes but that's not how it all went down. I did say yes (because I was recently asked if I could say no to God and no I cannot), but it was more like I threw myself down on the floor, kicked and screamed for what seemed like an eternity and with fear in my head and tears in my eyes I said yes to God. <br />
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It took a few days, ok actually weeks, to see the strength that God instilled in me to get His job done, not my job but HIS job. I heard evil voices telling me I could not do, I was going to be ridiculed, my family was going to be gossiped about, our future was going to be ripped out from under my entire family and it would all be my fault!! But louder than those voices in the softest, sweetest whisper I could hear His voice telling me I will not call you to do something so that I can watch you fail, keep your eyes, heart and mind on me and you will succeed, I will protect you from the words spoken by others and they will answer for it not you, I hold your future NOT man!!!<br />
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At the same time that this battle was raging inside of me our pastor, and even a guest speaker, preached for a few weeks on being broken for God, hmm God's timing is perfect. That's when it hit me, because of this war I was fighting I left that special place of being broken for God. I quit saying YOUR will God, not mine. I was no longer broken, in fact I was taking what was once broken pieces that I laid down for God's glory and was picking them up and building walls around my heart with them so that nothing and no one could get in, not even God!!! I think back to how hard I was working to put those walls up and how good a job I thought I did and one gentle breath from my precious, heavenly Father and all that remains of those walls is rubble! He is an amazing God!!!<br />
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His strength was inside me the whole time! I walked away from Him but He never left me. I now am at peace with what God has called me to do. I have returned back to that special room where only God and myself are welcome. You know you have a room just like mine, all you have to do is choose to open the door and see what awaits you inside. It will not disappoint, it will not always be easy, it will not always be fun but God will always be inside!!<br />
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So here I sit, telling you about my weaknesses, my stumbling blocks, thanking God that I no longer have to work so hard at building walls that I do not want around me. If you are reading this and wondering if you are the one that put these words on this page then let me say to you God will fight for you, you need only to be still and listen to His words of love and encouragement. His strength is inside you also!<br />
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Search for the Lord and for His strength; continually seek Him. Psalm 105:4<br />
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"YOUR will God, NOT mine!!!"<br />
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God bless,<br />
DenissaDenissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-55227392036281349402012-11-06T07:17:00.000-06:002012-11-06T07:17:42.229-06:00Our Fairy Tale...On this day in 1999, at 3 o'clock in the afternoon in the small Baptist church that I grew up in I promised my love and my life to Cody Churchwell. It has been thirteen years and I can honestly say I am more in love with him and respect him more today than thirteen years ago. It has not always been fun or easy but we both make a choice daily to love and respect each other, even on the days that it is not easy to do.<br />
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We met at the county stockshow in February 1997, a mutual friend introduced us. I remember seeing him earlier that day, before we were introduced, he walked right past me. Honestly, I was offended that he could walk right by me and not even notice me, I knew I looked good that day how dare he! So later when a friend, who was a boy, came up to me and said "Hey see that guy over there? He wants to meet you." I was ready to pay him back for ignoring me earlier, I agreed to let him introduce us but I was not very friendly. Cody spent the rest of the day trying to talk to me and I spent the rest of the day ignoring him every chance I got. My mom saw him trying to talk to me and asked who he was but I said just some boy. The next day at the stockshow the friend that introduced us told me Cody drove a corvette (this friend knew me to well), this made me think I could make my best friend jealous if she saw me riding around in a little red corvette, maybe he was worth a little piece of my time after all! So we exchanged numbers that day and met up that night with some friends. We saw each other a couple times during that week and one night as he was dropping me off at home in his dad's pickup, sitting in my parents driveway Cody asked me if I would be his girlfriend. I must say, he had charmed me and I happily agreed that I would. The next weekend was Valentine's day, it was our first real date, he took me to a nice restaurant, gave me flowers, sang to me and told me he loved me (yes on the first date), he says I said "thank you" but the memory of my response has slipped my mind! We were inseparable from that moment on, well for the next five months anyway and then he broke up with me and broke my heart into a million pieces!! As a 16 year old girl I was devastated!!! Well it wasn't too long before he was calling (in fact it was just a matter of days). For the next couple of years we were in love one day and hated each other the next, when we weren't dating each other we were still friends that told each other everything! On December 31, 1998 I was dating a different boy and we had a fight so I called Cody to talk and to wish him happy new year, we decided we missed being together and wanted to start the new year off right. I was a senior in high school by this time and Cody had been out of school for a couple years and was working for his dad. It was a matter of weeks before we were talking about our future and decided we wanted to get married in about a year. I wanted to have a year of college under my belt before we got married. We were engaged before I graduated from high school and the more we talked about being married the longer that year sounded and before we knew it a wedding date was set for November 6th of that same year! We decided why should we wait to get married when we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so what's the difference between a few months and a year?! It wasn't to long into the wedding planning that my dear, sweet daddy offered to pay for us to elope but we refused, after it was all said and done we both wished we had taken him up on his offer!! Finally the big day came, every thing was perfect! It was the best day of my life! I had in my mind that we were like a fairy tale and we were going to live happily ever after!!<br />
Thirteen years later I can look back and say it has been a wild ride, we have created our own kind of fairy tale, nothing like you will ever see in a Disney movie or well any movie for that matter but it is ours!! There have been some really rough storms that we have withstood together and there have been times that we didn't want to stand together but we made a choice to do it anyway and we have always come out better, stronger and more in love. Before we got married no one ever told me how hard marriage is, they never told me it is a choice you make every day to love and respect each other, I was never told it is a full time job! We have messed up together and learned together and grown up together. We have had more good times than bad times, lots of laughter and many memories! We have lost many loved ones along the way. There have been times I haven't had the strength to carry on to the next day but Cody was the crutch that held me up. He has loved me when I have been unlovable, he has loved me when I didn't want to be loved and he has loved me when I didn't love him back. He is my best friend, my lover, he is the one that God created just for me for my whole life, he is who I will share my mansion with in heaven. Like I said it has been a wild ride and I hope and pray that it lasts for a hundred more years!! <br />
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Happy Anniversary Babe, I love you and respect you ALWAYS!!!<br />
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God bless, <br />
Denissa<br />
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Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-2986643629790722552012-10-17T08:30:00.000-05:002012-10-17T08:30:23.323-05:006 YearsI am reading Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity and doing the workbook. I never really thought I was one who struggles very often with insecurity but let me tell you this book is showing me otherwise. I highly recommend reading this book!<br />
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My son's 6th birthday is this week and I am so happy and sad at the same time; happy that God has blessed our lives with another year of his sweet, loving presence but sad that he is growing up so fast!!! <br />
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As I think back over the past 6 years I can recall so much joy and laughter that Justice has brought into our family but I can also recall a season of fear and insecurity that God has so graciously brought me through.<br />
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In December 2008 I found out I was pregnant with our second baby, in that same month I lost that precious baby. At the end of January 2009 I had a very strong feeling that I was once again pregnant, against strong orders from my doctor to absolutely not get pregnant again for at least three months or I would face the same situation again. I was so terrified to even find out if I was pregnant or not that it took me weeks to even take a home pregnancy test and then another week after I finally did to call my doctor and tell him. For the next nine months I lived in fear of losing this baby too. At the time I did not even realize this fear that consumed my every thought. I remember when I was in labor I kept thinking I know everything will be okay once this baby is out of my body. The first words I remember the doctor saying, before he was even all the way born, was the cord was almost wrapped around his neck and the next words were...It's a BOY! (we did not know the sex of the baby before he was born!) As soon as I heard him say that about the cord another rush of fear set in. For the first year of his life I would not go into his room while he was sleeping, instead I would stand at the door trying to hear the faintest breath, cry or anything that would let me know he was still alive, my worst fear was that I would walk in his room and find him dead. Right after his first birthday, in October, he got sick for about 3 days and we thought it was just a tummy bug that he couldn't kick. No one else in the house ever got sick. Then two weeks later he got it again so I called his pediatrician and she said it's just a bug he'll be okay. Two weeks later again he got sick, I took him to the chiropractor this time and once again it's just a tummy bug. This went on until January. I remember opening my email one morning and reading the Air1 verse of the day, it was Psalm 62:8 Trust in Him at all times you people, pour out your hearts to Him, for God is your refuge. That verse hit me like a ton of bricks! I realized I was not trusting in God to take care of the son that HE had given us. I sat in the shower that morning and cried out to God, I poured my heart out to him like never before, I put my very sick baby at the foot of His cross and asked Him to lead me to some one that would help him. I called our family doctor that day, who I had not turned to yet, we got in to see him the next day. I was so relieved and so thankful, I knew God was taking care of it and I did not have to or need to. We ended up going from our family doctors office straight to the hospital for about 4 days and from there to a pediatric GI specialist. He ran many tests and told us the worst case scenario and best case scenario and it turned out we got the best case scenario and with a few diet changes our sweet Justice was on his way to being healthy again.<br />
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Now as we are about to celebrate his 6th birthday he is healthy as can be. He has dreams of being a bull rider some day, he loves hunting with his dad, he has a huge heart for others and most importantly he LOVES God with every inch of his being!!!<br />
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Reading this book and looking back I now realize it was my insecurity that kept me from trusting God. I was so afraid that something would happen to Justice that I could not control. It's not about what we can or cannot control, it's about letting God have complete control and trusting Him to do what He promises. God wants us to want Him. He wants all of us, every hurt, every fear, every shame, every insecurity and every joyful moment too! God wants you to pour your heart out to Him so that He can mend it and make it beautiful!!<br />
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Never again will I let fear consume my life, even if my son turns out to be a famous bull rider someday, I will trust God to protect him and lead him where He wants him to go!!<br />
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God bless,<br />
Denissa<br />
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Happy birthday to my tenderhearted, mutton bustin, 6 year old little cowboy!!! I am so thankful that God gave us you!!!Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-80165130625158156812012-10-01T13:08:00.001-05:002012-10-01T13:08:20.779-05:00God is Faithful...All the Time!I did not realize it has been almost 2 months since I have blogged! Oh how time flies!! The past two months have been a blur of busyness, excitement, nervousness, joy and watching God perform miracles in our lives!! We have been raising money for our Zambia trip and that means countless fundraisers on top of our everyday lives with three kids, spending time with our extended family and throw in our youth kids activities also. It has been a whirlwind of two months but we have enjoyed every busy second of it and would not trade it for any thing!!!<br />
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When we were scheduling some fundraisers for the Zambia trip I really felt the Holy Spirit saying to me not to take any money from the fundraisers for my husband and I, for us to raise our own funds to go. So I told the lady that is kind of like our mission trip organizer that even though we would be at every fundraiser Cody and I would not take any money from the fundraisers for our trip, that we would raise our own funds. I did this without my husband being present and without talking to him about it first. So when I broke the news to him lets just say he was more than a little upset!! I said to him if we step out in faith God will be faithful!<br />
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Less than 24 hours after the discussion with my husband we received an email telling us that his trip would be paid for in full and that my trip and our daughters trip would be $1000 less than what it was originally! We were speechless and amazed! God was already showing us his faithfulness!!<br />
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I make homemade cinnamon rolls for my family, it is one of my sons very favorite foods that I make. I have made them for family and friends and they are always a huge hit any time I take them somewhere. I made some for a youth fundraiser a while back and it did really well. So I told my husband I can sell cinnamon rolls to raise money for my trip. I prayed about it and I asked God to let me sell 70 pans of rolls a month. So I set some dates on the calendar starting in September going through December that I would take orders for five days and then deliver the rolls. The week in September came for me to start taking orders, on the first day, Monday, I was up to 50 pans ordered! I once again was amazed! By the second day I had reached my goal, so in my mind I am thinking okay I reached my 70 pans thank you Lord! I am done! But God had bigger goals for me and my rolls than I could ever imagine!! At the end of the first week, Friday, I had 84 pans of rolls ordered, PRAISE GOD!!! My mother-in-love and sister-in-love came and helped me make 10 batches of cinnamon rolls. I still had two batches to make the following week, by Wednesday I was up to 4 batches! I ended up making and selling 105 pans of cinnamon rolls in less than two weeks time!!! All glory to God!!!<br />
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I was hoping and praying that I could just sell 70 pans and I even doubted that I could sell that many! God went above and beyond what my mind could ever imagine! I am so guilty of putting restrictions and limitations on God and what He can do. God has shown me there is nothing that He cannot do, that when we ask for something that we think is too big He will go even bigger. My husband was so upset with me because I said we would raise our own funds, he said to me that we do not have that kind of money, there is no way that we can raise that kind of money on our own. He was right we cannot do it on our own but God can do it for us! If there is something God has laid on your heart to do and you are doubting yourself then let me encourage you to let God take control, step out on faith and let God do the rest. I promise you He will not let you down, He will not let you fail and He will take whatever it is and go way beyond what you ever thought it could be!! Our eyes only see what is in front of us at the moment but His eyes see all the way to the finish line. Step out in faith and GOD WILL BE FAITHFUL!!!<br />
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God bless,<br />
DenissaDenissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-50059897919248413202012-08-08T17:02:00.001-05:002012-08-08T17:02:54.245-05:00A New Season of ChangeTwo years ago my husband, Cody, was asked if he would start helping teach our youth on Wednesday nights and teach Sunday School on Sunday mornings. Our youth leaders at the time were moving and since he has always volunteered with the youth we agreed that he would help until the church found a new youth leader. After a few months of teaching our church trustees asked Cody if he would be the part time youth leader until they could find a full time youth leader. Once again we agreed to do this. At the time our church was going through some growing pains and we thought once we got through the storm every thing would go back to normal. I was head over the nursery department at the time also and I was very content with my job but God laid it on my heart to quit the nursery completely. He was calling me to stand beside my husband in his new position and completely devote myself to the youth. This was not what I wanted but after throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old I finally agreed to be obedient to what God had called us to as a couple. Little did I know or even expect what all God had in mind when I signed over my position as Nursery Director...<br />
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In July of this year we had a meeting with our Board of Trustees and our new Pastor and they voted to make Cody the full time youth leader. Let me stop right here and clarify, he still has his full time job as a plumber. Along with making him full time youth leader they also voted to let us move into the apartment that is located in our church's youth center (and let me add, do not let the word apartment fool you there is plenty of room for our family of 5!) . <br />
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Okay time for another pause... We were approached over a year ago by several members of the church, at random times, and asked if we would ever consider moving into the apartment. At first our response was "Well we haven't thought about it" (when we were really thinking this is just a temporary position). One time after we answered the question we were then asked if we had prayed about it. "Um No!" Then we started having thoughts like should we be praying about it, if this is a temporary position why would we pray about it, okay maybe we should pray and ask God what He wants. And so began the prayers! We prayed for over a year about God's direction for our lives, our family, our youth department and our church. We laid our hopes and desires out before each other and before God. It wasn't very long before our hopes and desires began to change right before our eyes. Our dreams began to turn into what does God want for our lives and less of what we wanted. I started to tell God "I only want what you want, what ever that may be and where ever that may take us." A peace began to come over me each time I would think about where God was taking our family. We knew without a doubt it was God's will for us to sell our house and move, we just didn't know when but we knew that He knew and that gave us hope and peace!<br />
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When we met with the trustees about moving we laid it all on the line. We told them what we think is God's desire for our family and the youth. They asked us what our kids thought about moving and how it would affect them. Our youth center is not located in what is considered the good part of town, so that was also a concern. We did not have all the answers then and we don't have them all even now but we know that God does. We also learned a long time ago that God is our provider and our protector and nothing will happen that He cannot and will not carry us out of. <br />
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It has been about 3 weeks since we moved into the apartment. I have felt like my emotions have been on a roller coaster, crying one minute and happy the next. We lived in our house for 10 out of our 13 years of marriage, we brought all 3 of our babies home from the hospital to that house, we have made many precious memories and some not so good ones in that house and let me tell you it was hard to leave them behind. I never knew how attached I could become to a house until I had to leave that one!! We are excited to be able to be more available for our youth, we love them deeply and we are so blessed that God has opened this door for us to be here for them 24/7!! <br />
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God promised me in January that 2012 would be a year of change and He has been faithful to that promise!! When I first blogged about my word for the year I was terrified what it would entail but I can honestly say CHANGE IS GOOD!!! Change has brought me more joy than I ever thought possible!! <br />
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We opened our hearts to God and He has opened doors we never imagined walking up to much less through. I know God is not done with this work He has started in our lives and in our hearts and we cannot wait to see what else is waiting for us in this new season of change. We are so humbled, amazed and thankful that we have been blessed by this oppurtunity!!!<br />
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God bless,<br />
DenissaDenissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1444453742634761627.post-15208177780145040532012-07-12T10:27:00.001-05:002012-07-12T10:27:46.483-05:00OklahomaMy husband, Cody, and I recently took our youth group on a week long mission trip in Tahlequah, Oklahoma. I must say I am a Texas girl, born and raised, but I LOVE that area of Oklahoma!! I even caught myself thinking, God if you decided this is where you want Cody and me then I am ready and willing! We have been home for almost 2 weeks and I still miss the trees, hills and water.<br />
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(Let me pause for a minute and remind you of my "word for the year"...CHANGE and let me also remind you I like to plan things out!)<br />
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When Cody and I started looking at youth mission trips we had originally wanted to go to one that was in Texas, the same week as the Oklahoma trip. We scheduled it and put down our deposit then found out that camp was cancelled for that week and we needed to pick another camp. We decided to change the week we wanted to go but that didn't work with Cody's full time job schedule so we left the week the same. We picked this particular camp in Tahlequah because we thought we would be working at an orphanage and that sounded like fun. God's hand was definetly in this trip the whole time!! When we arrived at the camp we found out we were actually going to be working in a different town, Marble Falls, 45 minutes away from our camp, and for a single older man who needed help doing things around his house that he was not able to do himself. Gerald is a full blood Cherokee Indian and in his sixty's, he has health problems and is not able to drive. He travels around and sings Gospel music, he also has Gospel concerts at his house on an outdoor stage. The house he lives in is the home he and his 11 siblings were raised in, it is small and old. Needless to say, I learned a few things from this old Cherokee, including a few Cherokee words :)!! I do not have enough time or space to put everything on here but I will say I realize that God has His hand in every little detail of our lives, including the things that we do not even think about.<br />
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We were at Gerald's house to serve him and to do things in and around the house that he could not do himself. If the projects cost money then it was paid for by the mission organization, so nothing came out of the homeowners pocket. The mission runs on a budget so they ask the homeowners what they would like to have done and then the organization deicides if the funds are available for the project, all of this is done before the youth groups arrive. When we got to Gerald's house we found out that he had requested a new toilet but they couldn't provide that since they didn't have a plumber to install it, until God intervened. Remember I said earlier we had not planned on coming to this camp and did not want to come this week but... Besides being the youth leader my husband has a full time job as plumber, so when we heard Gerald needed a new toilet we told them Cody could install the toilet. Even though the toilet was not in the original budget there was enough left over funds to be able to get one! God is SO good!!! <br />
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You may be reading this thinking I am nuts to get so excited over some old guy getting a new toilet but if you look at the bigger picture God had it planned the whole time, before we did, that we were meant to come to this camp and work at this partcular house. My point is that even when we don't know every little detail or understand every bump in the road God does and it doesn't matter how small or how big we think it is, it's all huge to God!!! I am learning that my plans, or often times lack of, don't matter because God has it all planned out and it is going to go His way regardless of how much I think I have it planned perfectly.<br />
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I am being transformed and this trip was just another stepping stone along this incredible journey of life! A piece of my heart was left behind in Tahlequah, Oklahoma and maybe someday God will grant me the priveledge of returning to get it but if not that is okay also, I only want what He wants!!<br />
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God bless,<br />
Denissa<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguSKZXO-Cuy4p8Uq_NhTebdrW5jPYnqzzSD4KdwxTi_5rZUEyrjAvL6LDyHxGA_en1xkXSraYAPYT8-Q1kXarr44pyWicWhhlD0Z1-5a2AXesu3y2B71z7vnhSGrYPb9-UMFfQ-30Op2Rf/s1600/DSCN0839.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguSKZXO-Cuy4p8Uq_NhTebdrW5jPYnqzzSD4KdwxTi_5rZUEyrjAvL6LDyHxGA_en1xkXSraYAPYT8-Q1kXarr44pyWicWhhlD0Z1-5a2AXesu3y2B71z7vnhSGrYPb9-UMFfQ-30Op2Rf/s320/DSCN0839.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Denissa Churchwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16571764319506396462noreply@blogger.com0